Little Blog Inspiring Gratitude One Person At A Time. Watch Incredible Things Happen To Change People One Experience At A Time.
Doris Lim Writes Gratitude
Live a Happy Life By Being Happy
Live a happy life? Why not? I’m always big on finding out ways to live a happy life.
I’m a happy person.
If you know me, you will see that I am quite happy to be home behind my computer writing the whole day.
It wasn’t always this way for me.
In the beginning, when I started my career, I was always chasing time.
Deadlines.
Construction schedules.
Time was always at large, and deadlines loomed in my face.
I wasn’t a happy person.
I just looked happy even when I had meetings I dread attending daily.
I just learned to wear my scowl back upside down.
Is happiness necessary to live a happy life?
I know this is a paradoxical question.
The solution or the answer is the same as the question.
Happiness is vital to our life’s goals.
Just being happy can help us achieve our ambitions and goals.
The truth is before I could be happy living a writer’s life – I had to learn to be HAPPY!
I had to be happy to make this choice to leave my former life behind.
I only realized this in hindsight.
After three years, I realized that this is the fundamental reason why happiness is so essential to propel us to change.
I never saw the potential in me to impact others with my words – to change lives.
A Ridiculously Good Happy Life is Possible.
I’m reading a new old book.
I’ve had this book as a gift for a few years.
I never got around to reading more than the front and back covers. Sometimes I would read the inscription inside.
Limitless: Devotions for a Ridiculously Good Life by Nick Vujicic
The cover was intriguing.
The title? A Ridiculously Good Life!
How is that even possible?
A Ridiculously Good Happy Life takes the top off.
Nick wasn’t talking about the good life, the happy life that most of us gravitate towards every day.
He was sharing about a Ridiculously Good Life!
His Ridiculously Good Life.
Today I shared my reading with the two people who are impacting me in ways beyond my imagination.
One asked me gentle probing questions. The other friend always wanted an answer.
I thought to myself – how can I answer, how do I help.
So, I do what I do best. I spend my Sunday thinking and writing this.
There are no secrets to living a happier life.
There’s none that I know of as in magic formula as in hocus pocus mumbo jumbo! LOL.
All I know is the joy I feel – I am happy.
The elusive quantum leaps into happiness.
I had a friend who feared happiness.
When we were growing up, she would chant this mantra whenever anyone asks how she is doing.
So-so. Neither very good nor very bad.
Even when she wanted to tell me that she enjoyed something, her response is always,
Not Bad.
I never understood “Not Bad” even though people try to explain it to me.
For me, if something is good, just say that it is good. If it’s wrong, then just move away. Simple.
Not (or not so) Bad doesn’t mean reasonably good.
I just think the sooner we drop this from our syntax, the better it is for the way we communicate with each other.
I would ask her why not try to live a happy life.
For me, I am authentic and allow myself to feel both positive and negative human emotions.
Think of these positive, feel-good.emotions. If emotions are an excellent elixir of life, the proverbial fountain of youth – would you want more of these in your life?
- happiness
- joy
- interest
- curiosity
- excitement
- gratitude
- love
- contentment
If negative emotions cause sickness, diseases, and eventual death, wouldn’t you make sure you dont invite these problematic, even painful emotions to enter the door of your mind and stay?
- sadness
- anger
- loneliness
- jealousy
- self-criticism
- fear
- rejection
The key to happiness is GRATITUDE.
The key to healing is LOVE.
Grief is that intense sorrow, caused by a loved one’s death – that too needs healing.
Happiness is not Elusive.
Her happiness is elusive because her brain and many others have evolved to survive, to protect ourselves, to keep us alive.
Sure, there are moments of happiness—periods of contentment. And maybe even joy.
But many of us are plagued with persistent negative emotions.
For Gem, our emotions were a roller-coaster that she couldn’t relate to at all.
She instead not feel joy, so she doesn’t feel the pain that comes with pleasure.
Until today Gem still has the same mindset.
Too afraid to live and love.
My brain is wired differently from hers.
I learned later in life that this meant I was living an authentic life – how I live my daily schedule.
It goes by blocks of two hours.
So, throughout the day, I neither happy nor sad all the time.
If I measure my daily happiness quota – it is always in the positive.
I know I go to sleep every night (late)
l lie in bed tired and happy.
I’m planning my tomorrow with the full assumption that I will rise like the sun.
Here are 31 Ways for you to live a happy life.
It all starts with beautiful, unique YOU.
1 Being imperfect.
I was the little Miss Perfectionist.
I used to set the bar too high.
Even a missing or extra comma in a sentence used to annoy me. When I think back to those days, I throw back my head and laugh.
The other day, someone said that he found red hair on a Malaysian woman to be amusing.
I saw great humor in that and laughed along with him and am blessed.
Yes, I thought it amusing, too, and was delighted that I made him smile.
Accept imperfection.
Many of us strive for perfection — we desire to push ourselves to be our best.
Being a perfectionist and setting high standards is hard.
To be truly happy, we need to embrace life with all its imperfections.
2 Be someone else or be uniquely You.
One of the best things you can do to boost your happiness is to be yourself simply.
You are uniquely you. You don’t have to be anyone else.
Once you love and accept yourself for who you are – know your limitations.
You need to spend some time getting to know yourself.
Be comfortable in your skin.
- What defines you?
- What do you believe?
- Who are you?
- Whose are you?
- Where do you belong?
3 No one compares to you.
Social media has a way of making us feel inadequate.
When we scroll through our newsfeed, we may feel negative emotions of envy and resentment.
Comparing lives may rob us of appreciating what we have when we compare with the things everyone else has.
Care to deal with some feelings?
All of us have a lot of feelings. Sometimes we laugh and cry at the same time.
That is good – those are called, tears of joy!
4 Being Positive +
For long term happiness – Spend one to two minutes a day to look for positives in your daily life.
Do these three times a day for 45 days, and your brain will start doing it automatically.
You can choose a positive mantra.
“I am grateful to be alive.”
Being grateful is a great way to start feeling gratitude. #gratitudechangeseverything
Ever since, I take moments in my day to see things positively and be grateful – things have changed for the better.
I want to love and live a ridiculously good life – I am grateful, always, always, and forever.
I meet right, kind people who are on the same page as I – we want to grow positively to impact the world.
5 Saying NO, without feeling guilty.
How do you turn someone down without feeling guilty?
Can you say no?
6 Forgiveness is the key to living a happy life.
Forgiveness is the hard part. Making someone happy is easier.
Forgiveness of others and forgiveness of self are the two hardest parts of every relationship.
Think back to the time you held back forgiveness.
Think back to the time you forgave.
7 Making someone happy.
I remember that my mom would buy me ice cream whenever
8 Celebrate little victories.
Life is full of ups and downs, BUT it’s the little wins, the victories that keep up in a celebratory mood. I learn to celebrate everything and not to wait for the HUGE gains. So, this is one reason I feel a sense of accomplishment and happiness.
Today I cleared a drawer of old receipts.
If I know Gem, she will ask, why did you allow yourself to accumulate rubbish in the first place.
Now I when I hear that nagging voice, I just laugh at her memory.
I take enormous pleasure in these little achievements. They add up and pay BIG dividends in our emotional bank account!
8 Turn negative talk around.
You have friends, business associates, neighbors, and worst still negative relatives?
I had an old colleague who we call Dr. Doom and Prof. Gloom.
Now that I’m nowhere near him, I just make sure I stay far away from negative people.
9 Be Optimistic. Live a happy life.
When you reduce your time spent with negative people, situations, and the environment, you get to breath better.
Being optimistic comes more accessible and more comfortable.
For our career change, I had to disassociate myself from many people so that new like-minded people could come into our life.
At one point, it was a little crowded.
10 Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness brings our awareness and attention to this very moment.
The present.
I do a simple box breathing technique to bring about being present, aware, and curious.
When I am mindful of our breath, it helps me accept the challenges I am going through – decreases stress, helps me see every situation as is.
Through the practice of mindfulness, I find peace and affirmation in ourselves.
11 What are you working on?
Me, Myself and I
12 Find your work-life balance.
Work takes up a lot of our day; we are in danger of losing yourself. Remember, your friend, who was concerned? Well, he is right – it should not be the only thing that I do. For a while, I thought of Steve job,
“Aside from work, I have little joy.” – Steve Job
It’s important to pursue activities and interests beyond our job. But then, our job is not a job – it is our passion. So, we are aware and am a work in progress.
I need to learn to create a work-life balance and learn to express yourself, laugh, and have fun.
All work and no play make a dull Doris.
13 Be creative.
Being a creative my entire life means I need to stay upbeat.
You may think of artists as being moody and depressed, but studies show that engaging in creative activities makes you happier.
Those who spend time using their imagination and being creative have more enthusiasm and are more likely to have feelings of long-term happiness and wellbeing.
Such creative activities can include writing, painting, drawing, and musical performance.
14 Do what you love.
It’s hard to be happy if you hate your job – even if your job pays the bills and buys your holidays overseas.
If you don’t find joy working in a job that provides a high level of satisfaction, you will not be happy no matter how much your salary.
15 Why is the money necessary?
In the face of the COVID-19 pandemic – I thought to ourselves having money and not being able to it makes no sense. The reality of having money is to spend it on experiences.
16 Spend wisely.
How you spend your money will determine how happy you feel – buying experiences and sharing the experiences with others are the things that make us happy.
The top of our list is travel, dining, movies, art galleries, and concerts.
Happiness connected to acquiring material things, and items fades.
It is our different experiences that define our purpose – our passions in life.
17 Cultivate gratitude – YOU WILL ALWAYS BE RICH.
#gratitudechangeseverything
Gratitude changes everything.
Ever since I found out to show grateful appreciation for what I receive in life, things start to change – I become happier and feel more content.
I find more and more ways to cultivate gratitude daily.
Being grateful is something that pays high dividends in playing it forward to help others.
I learn ways to show appreciation.
When I spend little moments each day to acknowledge all that is good in our life – I start to see that I’m no longer anxious. You can try it – soon, sadness, and depression will be a thing of the past.
18 Giving Back.
Be generous.
If you have money, give some of it away. If you don’t have money – give your time.
- Give to those you love.
- Give to those you care about.
- Give to others in need.
You will be surprised that when you give, you get a sense of selflessness and humanitarianism.
Many of those who are generous in spending money on others; well, they tend to have good health, more positivity, and a sense of wellbeing.
Perhaps giving has a feel-good side effect, which lowers stress and your blood pressure.
19 Life is to be celebrated – Nor dreaded!
Gem told me a long time ago.
Since pain is universal in the human race; it seems to be an inexorable law of our planet that sooner or later great happiness is followed by great sorrow. ~ Joe L. Wheeler
Of course, that is NOT TRUE. I didn’t buy into that thinking.
Imperfect Gem would control the joy in her life. Her explanation was this;
In life happiness is followed by sorrow. Once you feel joy at any point in your life, you wish to be in that situation forever but that is not how things work.
Nothing is constant; everything that this world is relative.
Hence, it’s all in your perspective.
She never caught my joy, and I refuse to buy into her belief system.
Oh well, we win some – we lose some. Life goes on.
20 Stop worrying. You can’t change anything by worrying.
When we worry about everything, we become gripped with fear and anxiety.
When negative thoughts bound our minds, everything may spiral out of control.
We become apprehensive about everything and anything and become paralyzed with afraid.
The truth is we cannot experience joy with our thoughts consumed by worry.
21 Keep happy people in your circle of friends.
Remember the old proverb; Misery loves company.
People who are suffering are comforted by the knowledge that others are also suffering like them – a universal truth.
Gloomy moods are contagious.
The more we share experiences, the more our emotions and behaviors become synchronized.
Therefore, the secret to long-term happiness is surrounding yourself with others who are also happy.
22 Live in the moment. Live a happy life.
While we dream and plan – our thoughts often stray to the unresolved hurts or events of the past.
The reality is we can only experience the present.
What we are going through now, be it drinking a good cup of coffee or enjoying a conversation.
To be fully alive and to live a happy life, we need to be fully engaged with NOW.
Live each moment, appreciate each breath. And begin to cultivate a deeper appreciation for your life.
23 Little treats and surprises.
I used to hate surprises. I never like a present that I received. I was ungrateful, come to think of it.
But all that changed with gratitude. I learn to be happy and accepting.
24 Surprise yourself.
When we set goals outside our comfort zone, we may be surprised at the outcome of our goals.
When we allow ourselves to be in new or unexpected situations, something changes.
There is excitement, and you may be more than a little surprised by life.
25 Listen to and Engage with Music.
When we are listening to music – our brains release dopamine.
Eating chocolate does the same.
Dopamine is a neurochemical connected to pleasure and reward.
People who attend concerts, listen to music, or engage in dance, often share that they feel good.
They experience a high level of happiness and a sense of wellbeing.
I just feel happy when I listen to lively music.
Sometimes speaking to someone with a zest for life is good.
You can hear the enthusiasm in their voice, and it is lifting.
26 Build meaningful relationships.
Few of us realize our most fundamental needs is a deep desire to love and be loved.
As humans, we need friendship, community, love, and happiness.
All of us have a fundamental need to be seen and heard.
We need to interact and connect with others – most of the time, we gravitate towards our kind.
We seek out our tribe – the people who will support us and understand us.
Without meaningful relationships and no one to be there as we go through life’s roller-coaster ride – We feel lonely and isolated.
We’re happier when we pursue and happiness with others.
27 Spend MORE time in nature.
The higher the time we spend outdoors in nature, the more we can relate to life – the higher our sense of appreciation of our place in the world.
Our connection to nature, when we hike, go for treks, walk in the park, or even gardening plays a role in maintaining positive mental health.
28 Reminisce over happy memories.
We become nostalgic because nostalgia makes us happy.
Reminiscing about our past can help us reconnect with good times, and happy memories inevitably help us reconnect with feelings of love.
We remember our sense of wonder and fulfillment as children.
When we have meals with old friends, we feel closer to them. Our past shapes us and defines our identity today.
29 How can we live a happy life?
It’s the feeling of truly enjoying our life, and the desire to make the very best of it.
Happiness is the “secret sauce” that helps us be our best and to do our best.
When you know that happy people are more successful and happy people are better at reaching goals.
30 What will you choose?
The choice is entirely up to you to live a happy life.
When Gem looks at me and asks, “I need more positive energy.”
I want to tell her to look inside herself. I don’t dispense positive vibes, and it’s not something that anyone can buy over the counter.
What deeds can we perform to live a happy life?
31 What is the secret of happiness?
“The secret to happiness is to make everyone around you happy.”
By default, we will get the satisfaction of bringing joy to others, and their positive energy will come back to us as we live a happy life.
Source:
US Police Officer – Basketball Cop Game Changer Story
US Police Officer – Basketball Cop Game Changer Story
The Game Changer Story started in Gainesville, FL – January 15, 2016, @ 5:01 pm when US police officer, Bobby White, responded to a noise complaint in a neighborhood.
In Gainesville, FL, kids were shooting hoop on the street.
US police officer Bobby White’s response changed the community and impacted children’s lives across the United States.
What we need to do as a body of humanity is to respond, not to react.
I know this video is old, but Bobby White’s message is one of unity, understanding, and changing the community’s lives.
What does the phrase game changer mean?
Game changer A game-changer may be a new person, idea, event, or protocol that upends the established order.
Something that is a game-changer is radical and disruptive, usually in a positive way.
The term game-changer is a sports term that was adopted by the business community.
Who is US police officer Bobby White?
According to Wikipedia – Bobby White. Robert “Bobby” White, often nicknamed the Basketball Cop, is an American US police officer from Gainesville, Florida, a member of the Gainesville Police Department (GPD).
As of 2016, White has held his position for eight years.
Please read the excerpt from US police officer Bobby White’s Facebook Page Basketball Cop Foundation and website.
Police Officer, Bobby White’s Message
Hi, and thank you for visiting the Basketball Cop FB page!
My Story / My Mission:
Hi, and thank you for visiting the Basketball Cop FB page!
My name is Bobby White. I am a US police officer in Gainesville, FL. On January 15, 2016, at around 5:30 pm, I was dispatched to a noise complaint.
The complainant called to report that there were several kids playing basketball “loudly” in the street. I arrived on the scene to find what was described by the caller.
Kids were playing basketball.
I pulled up, activated my patrol car dashcam as required by policy, and exited my car.
I contacted one of the loud “suspects” (lol) who was holding a basketball.
I could tell by the look on his face that he was concerned with my presence.
I assumed that he thought that I was going to make him stop playing.
To eliminate that concern, I decided to engage him in conversation and began playing ball with him.
Within minutes, several other kids joined in.
Yep, I guess you could say that I added to the “problem.”
After about 12 minutes of playing, I had to leave to answer another call for service.
Before leaving, I told the kids that I had no problem playing basketball and asked them to try not to be too loud.
I asked the kids if they play there every day.
They told me that they did, so I said to them that I would be back with “back up” on another day for another game.
I left to come back with some fellow officers shortly.
The following week, Ofc Ben Tobias (GPD PIO) saw the dashcam video and posted it on GPD’s Facebook page.
By midnight that day, the video had been viewed a million times!
By morning, the views were over 4 million!
The video had gone viral overnight.
That day, people from all over the world began contacting the
Gainesville Police Department to express their joy with the video.
One day, I became a US police officer who was doing my job to some international hero. I began reading the thousands of comments on Facebook.
Most of the comments were thanking me for handling the call and stating that there needed to be more officers like me.
As I appreciated the beautiful things that viewers were saying, I couldn’t help feeling a little saddened and surprised that so many people thought that what I did was extraordinary.
I can tell you that most officers I know would have handled that call just as I did.
As Law Enforcement Officers, we know the importance of building relationships with the communities we work in by interacting with citizens and building trust.
Gaining trust is most important with the youth.
It wasn’t long before news outlets from all over the world began requesting interviews with me.
My first reaction was that I did not feel that I deserved the recognition that it was receiving and declined all interviews.
After speaking with some of my fellow officers, I realized that this could be an opportunity to talk about my surprise that what I did was being perceived as out of the ordinary.
So, I decided to begin doing interviews to get my message out and hope that maybe I could help change that perception.
The interviews began GMA, Fox & Friends, TMZ, CNN, BBC,
Sky News London, Fuji TV (Japan), and many more.
Every major news outlet out there either interviewed me or wrote a story on my video.
And then something cool happened.
A few days after the video went viral, the “Rematch” with the kids planned a rematch.
My team of officers and I gathered in the GPD briefing room, preparing to head out to play with the kids, when the door opened.
*On walks, Shaq!
Shaq saw the video and decided that he was going to back me up in the rematch.
The rest of the story has been well documented and shared by way of pictures and videos, including Shaq’s game with the kids and the following trip to watch the Orlando Magic beat the Atlanta Hawks with a last-second buzzer-beater.
I do not doubt that this incident has changed some regarding how the police interact with the community, but I guarantee that it has changed the nine kids’ lives that have come to be known as the #HoopsNotCrime Crew.
It wasn’t long before basketballs and basketball hoops began anonymously showing up for me at GPD.
This is extremely exciting.
It has now opened up the opportunity to extend the benefit of this story beyond the HoopsNotCrime Crew.
It is no secret that there is some distrust between the police and the community.
Police agencies and the officers on the street are doing the best they can to improve this relationship.
The issue is those police agencies have no budget for “community policing.”
I created this foundation, hoping that this story would keep developing into something huge that would help generate resources that would help me fund community policing efforts across the USA.
I am proud to say that we have been able to provide community policing resources to approximately 200 police agencies across the country over the last three years, connecting 100’s hundreds of cops with 1000’s’s1000’s’s of kids.
The donations we have made range from
- sending basketballs to cops to hand out to kids in their community,
- sending basketball goals,
- building full NBA sized courts in low-income communities,
- sponsoring back to school and Christmas events,
- supplying students in need of new sneakers,
- to even purchasing brand new washers and dryers for multiple schools,
*so that the school resource officers could wash students’ clothes who come to school wearing the same soiled clothes to school all week.
*On walks, Shaq!
Shaquille Rashaun “Shaq” O’Neal, a retired American former professional basketball player, is a sports analyst on the television program Inside the NBA on TNT.
He is considered one of the greatest players in National Basketball Association history.
Basketball Cop Foundation Mission
In the simplest terms, if there is a US police officer anywhere in the country, who wants to help someone in their community, and money is the only thing they lack to make it happen, we are here to help make it happen.
How can you help?
Hit the “Learn More” button at the top of the page and donate, or if you are not in a position to give, please share our mission.
If you know of a US police officer who could use our help to connect with their community, get them in touch with me.
Thanks for visiting,
Ofc Bobby “Basketball Cop” White
Source: Facebook Page Basketball Cop Foundation
How one US police officer made a difference to enrich the lives of youths in his community.
As a US police officer, it doesn’t take long to see how damaged the relationship is between our country’s law enforcement and the youth in their communities.
There is distrust, misunderstanding, and a lack of respect between the two.
It’s why I have always done my part to try to repair that relationship with the kids that I interact with.
It’s why I handled the noise complaint the way I did.
Before this, all I could do is try to make a difference one kid at a time.
I now felt like I might have the platform and the community’s support to affect kids across the country.
I decided that I would dedicate my time to work and my weekends to make a difference.
The Basketball Cop Foundation was born.
What is the Basketball Cop Foundation?
A 501c3 non-profit organization dedicated to building relationships between our country’s Law Enforcement and the youth in our communities through TRUST.
Founded and operated by an active-duty US police officer
#HoopsNotCrime
Basketball Cop Foundation Mission
It is no secret that there is a damaged relationship between our country’s Law Enforcement and the youth in the communities we serve.
I believe that this is driven by a lack of trust, misunderstanding, and misperception.
I also believe that kids do not prefer to feel this way, but society has influenced them with the help of social media and the news.
Kids who do not trust or respect the police are less likely to report being a victim of a crime and even less likely to come forward as a witness of a crime.
It is a fact that kids with no reason to respect the law or the Officers in their community are far more likely to commit juvenile crimes themselves.
I believe that the only way that we, as US police officer s, will repair these relationships is by proactively going out into the communities and positively interacting with the kids.
There are many ways to do this.
It can be as easy as
- saying, “Hi.”
- giving a “high five” as we walk by or
- engaging them in conversation.
This works to a point, but it’s hard to make a solid connection with a 10-year-old when you have little in common.
That’s where sports become a valuable tool…. Especially basketball!
You would be hard-pressed to find a kid who doesn’t enjoy basketball.
Add a US police officer who can dribble a ball, and you have just found the beginning of a relationship.
The Basketball Cop Foundation’s mission is to connect Law Enforcement agencies across the country with the kids in their communities.
This will be accomplished primarily by supplying the agencies with sports equipment. The recipient agency will then, in turn, donate the equipment to groups of kids in their community through their Patrol Officers.
Not only does the initial donation of the equipment open the door to new relationships, but it gives the Patrol Officers in those areas a place where they know they can interact with the kids regularly and continue to build on those relationships.
What does Basketball Cop Foundation do?
Beyond supplying sports equipment, the foundation would also fund Police/Youth community events, Police/Youth sports tournaments, and fund the renovation and building of basketball courts in apartment complexes, parks, churches, etc.
What makes this mission great is that not only is it simple to execute, but it has been proven to be effective.
In just a short time (as of 7/5/18), the foundation has supplied basketball goals, renovated basketball courts, or sponsored police/community events in approximately 80 different Law Enforcement jurisdictions across the country, connecting hundreds of officers with hundreds of kids.
Together as a community, we can make a difference in the future of our country’s youth!
People always ask if I’m still in contact with the original #HoopsNotCrimeCrew. The answer is. They are family.
Today I spent some time with my “little” dude Antwan. I love watching these kids grow into men. 😊
Disclaimer: This is not an official Gainesville Police website.
The Gainesville Police do not maintain department social media sites and departments. The views of the Basketball Cop Foundation may not necessarily reflect the views of the Gainesville Police Department.
Please visit, and if you feel compelled, do donate for a worthy cause.
Basketball Cop Foundation is a 501c3 non-profit organization on a mission to improve Police/Youth/Community relations nationwide.
Editor’s note:
In light of the George Floyd: Black Lives Matter protests spread across the world, we need reminders of the groundwork by US police officer Bobby White and many police officers and community leaders who have since 2016 impacted the lives of black kids in the hoods positively with love, encouragement, purpose, and giant HOPE through basketball.
You Are Enough: Believe You Are Loved and Valuable
This touching tale tells of how a mother says, “You are enough.” (Author unknown)
I met her in her seventies at the airport, a woman whose presence carried the quiet weight of decades lived fully, yet gently. She was saying goodbye to her daughter, who had just announced her departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged. The mother said, “I love you, and you are enough.”
The daughter replied, “Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. You are enough, too, Mom.”
They kissed, and the daughter left. The mother walked over to a nearby window, where I was seated, her steps measured yet heavy with emotion.
I could see she wanted and needed to cry.
I hesitated, not wanting to intrude, but she welcomed me in with a gentle question,
“Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?”
“Yes, I have,” I replied.
“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?”
“I am old, and she lives far away. Life has its challenges, and the next trip back will likely be for my funeral,” she said.
Understanding What It Means to Know You Are Enough
“When you were saying goodbye, I heard you say, ‘you are enough.’ May I ask what that means?”
She smiled softly, the kind of smile shaped by decades of life’s lessons.
“That’s a wish passed down through generations. My parents used to say it to everyone. When we said it, we meant the other person should have enough love, enough resilience, and enough joy to carry them through life. Not perfection, but balance, and the wisdom to know their own worth.”
Then, as if reciting from memory, she shared:
- Sunshine to brighten even the darkest days
- Rain to help appreciate the sun
- Happiness to keep the spirit alive
- Challenges that make small joys greater
- Gains and losses that teach appreciation
- Meaningful hellos for every goodbye
She paused, tears brimming.
“Life is fragile,” she said, “but knowing you are enough allows you to meet each day without fear or regret.”
How Long Does It Take to Realize You Are Enough?
They say it takes;
- a minute to meet a special person
- an hour to appreciate them
- a day to love them
- an entire lifetime to truly understand your worth
Remembering this brought back memories of expressing love, gratitude, and appreciation for my father.
He, who believed in my dreams and gave me my first typewriter to write my stories.
The value of hope, encouragement, and personal growth is immeasurable.
Especially when one has lived enough years to reflect on lessons learned and paths chosen.
Living Fully: Embrace Self-Worth in Midlife
Take time to live. “Life, like any work of art, needs thought,” said Albert Camus.
For those of us in our forties, the pressures of career, family, and daily responsibilities can feel relentless.
Meeting someone in her seventies showed me the quiet power of knowing I am enough.
It has changed how I face challenges, nurture relationships, and grow through life’s changes.
Learning, showing appreciation, cultivating gratitude, and embracing love all reinforce that you are enough just as you are.
Life is not measured only in accomplishments, but in presence, compassion, and the courage to keep growing.
Take Time to Love
Love is cultivated slowly and gently. Actions speak louder than words. Children, pets, and adults alike feel it when we show care and attention.
When someone lashes out or withdraws because they feel unloved, we teach love through patience, gentleness, and meaningful actions. True words are not always sweet, but actions always reveal the truth.
Your impact on the world is significant whether you know it or not. You are significant. You are enough.
Embracing Life Fully in Later Decades
As we grow older, it becomes even more important to honor ourselves, nurture our passions, and cultivate meaningful connections.
Knowing you are enough allows you to approach each day with confidence, gratitude, and love.
Take time to care for your body, your mind, and your heart.
Celebrate achievements, embrace imperfections, and continue learning.
Life is not about perfection—it’s about growth, presence, and purpose.
Every stage of life brings new lessons and opportunities.
When we truly accept that we are enough, we no longer seek constant external validation.
Instead, we can embrace the richness of our experiences, the depth of our relationships, and the quiet joys that make life meaningful.
You are enough. You are loved.
Every day is an opportunity to live fully, for yourself and for those around you.