Things I Wished I Knew At 20 My Grandmother Never Told Me

In my 50s, I became a grandmother to my 20-year-old self.

I have friends in their 70s and a mother heading towards her  90s.

Often I would wonder what sort of changes she is feeling in herself in these turbulent times.

People get panicky during the lockdown for extended time periods with the COVID-19 pandemic.

My friends would ask this question “How are you coping?”

I wish I could share my experience with my younger self, and maybe I would open up to more ideas and different ways of doing things.

Here are the answers that my mother gave me that would change my story.

1 Loving The Woman In The Mirror

After loving my parents, siblings, spouse, children, and friends, I have now started loving myself.

2 I have realized that I am not “Atlas”.

Or the Globe. The world does not rest on my shoulders.

3 I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors.

A few pennies more will not break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.

4 I leave my waitress a big tip.

The extra money might bring a smile to her face.

She is toiling much harder for a living than I am.

5 I stopped telling the elderly that they’ve already narrated that story many times.

The story makes them walk down memory lane & relive their past.

6. I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong.

The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me.

Peace is more precious than perfection.

7 I give compliments freely and generously.

Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient but also for me.

And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never, NEVER turn it down, say “Thank You.”

8. I have learned not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt.

Personality speaks louder than appearances.

Many younger people (and some older ones too) have an innate fascination with shiny objects.

I do not need high heels to feel tall, a loud wardrobe to be heard above the din of voices, AND I would rather carry a $30 purse with $300 inside than the other way around.

9 I walk away from people who don’t value me.

They might not know my worth, but I do.

There is no need to put up with louts and boorish people who throw tantrums in public or private to get attention.

10 I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race.

I am not a rat, and neither am I in any race.

I’m good going at my own pace. Life is not a race. The end game is the same for everyone – no one gets out alive.

11 I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions.

It’s the emotions that make me human.

I cry when I am touched.

I cry when I feel joy.

I cry because I love someone.

Noting wrong with feeling this way.

12 I have learned that it’s better to drop the ego than to break a relationship.

My ego will keep me aloof, whereas, with relationships, I will never be alone.

I don’t have to be right, neither do you.

We can agree to disagree and have different opinions. It is okay that you see B&W or colour, and I see greys.

I also realise that some people are colour blind, and that’s alright too.

13 I learn to love younger girls like my own daughter.

Some grow up without a mother, and some are orphans as an adult.

I let them be; I just tell them thar they are good.

I see the goodness in them.

When they tell me the wonderful things that happen, I am so glad when they have their own family.

14 I learn that houses are not homes, and home is where the heart is.

It doesn’t matter how many rooms you have in your home. What matters most is how much love you can fill in each room.

15 I learn to love the wide-open space call the outdoors.

Going about for walks is good. Having a companion is better.

The miles are easier and to clock 10,000 steps with a friend is so much easier than going alone.

16 I learn to use Facebook

I look at photos and give as many likes, smiley faces and hearts as possible.

Some people look for validation and affirmation; I am here to give them to whoever needs a smile or an encouraging word.

17 I make decisions slowly.

There is no rush to decide to go anywhere or do anything in particular. as long as I get to go out for a meal or a drink outside, it is a wonderful outing.

18 I learn to celebrate everything.

I don’t wait for birthdays or big events. Getting a slice of cake and coffee is a good enough reason to celebrate.

19 I learn to have hope, even if hope comes in a lottery ticket.

I tell my daughter I gamble not so that I win or enjoy a gambling session.

I gamble so that I might win the first prize and give her the money.

She has come to terms with this, and I am glad.

20 I have learned to live each day as if it’s the last.

After all, it might be the last when we say good night and go to bed.

When we wake up, we are blessed to live another day.

21 I am doing what makes me happy.

I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself.

Happiness is a choice.

You can be happy at any time, choose to be!

I Wished I Knew The Secret To Live Gracefully

Why do we have to wait to be 60 or 70 or 80? Why can’t we practice this at any stage and age?