The Giraffe Story – Real or Otherwise

The Giraffe Story – Real or Otherwise

A long time ago, in a continent called Africa, giraffes had very short necks.

(The giraffe is an African artiodactyl mammal. The tallest living terrestrial animal, and the largest ruminant.)

For this reason, it’s neck has grown longer and longer.

How Giraffes Got Long Necks (a myth or story)

A long time ago, in a continent called Africa, giraffes had very short necks.

Their necks are, about an inch shorter than an average human’s neck to be precise.

All the giraffes thought this was normal – at that time.

But here is the story about how giraffes got long necks.

It was a hot summer’s day. (Africa’s weather is all year summer, I didn’t write this, okay?)

All the giraffe families came together to have a picnic.

All the little giraffes were playing games, and the mothers and fathers were talking.

A few young giraffes, George and his cousins Gina and Grace were playing with a ball.

They were passing it by bouncing it on their heads.

There was a naughty little giraffe named Giovanni.

Why Giovanni, you ask. Aren’t we in Africa?

Yes, but of course Pepé.

Giovanni is a meaningful name.

Giovanni means God Is Gracious.

Giovanni liked to get George and other little giraffes into trouble.

After a while, George, Grace, and Gina were all tired and thirsty, so they decided to have a rest.

Giovanni snuck up on the trio and yelled, “Nah Nah, you don’t have a ball!”

“What do you mean?” Gina said.

The Giraffe Story – Real or Otherwise
The Giraffe Story – Real or Otherwise

Giovanni pointed to a nearby tree, and the ball was stuck between two very high branches.

“Oh, no!” George cried looking at the ball high up in the tree.

George had an idea and approached Gina

“How about you carry me so I can get the ball?” George said to Gina

“Ok,” she replied.

Grace just stood and watched.

The ball was still too high even when Gina carried George.

Then George called Grace to come and help.

The next thing you know, Gina was carrying Grace, and Grace was taking George.

It was the funniest sight ever!

Finally, George could almost reach the ball BUT, then Gina lost her balance and fell over.

So did Grace.

The only little giraffe that didn’t fall was George.

This was because his neck got stuck between the two branches that the ball was held in.

Luckily, the ball fell off the tree, but George was stuck!

”Ouch!” George thought.

Gina and Grace went to get some help.

All the giraffes were gathered around that tree.

Every single giraffe was pulling on one of George’s legs.

Poor George was being pulled so much!

The whole family of giraffes was pulling and pulling and pulling!

While they were pulling, something very odd was happening.

George’s neck was getting longer and longer and longer.

Finally, after a few hours of pulling, George’s head slipped through the branches.

All of the giraffes looked at his odd-looking neck.

George’s NEW neck was convenient, though.

  • He could eat leaves off of a tree without jumping for them.
  • He loved the view of Africa from up there.
  • All the giraffes saw how George’s neck came in handy.

So all of the giraffes took turns to go up that tree to get their necks pulled.

Soon enough, all the giraffes had longer necks than ever.

So when you giraffes with long necks and wondered – That is the story of giraffes and how they got long necks.

Giraffe woman – the beauty of a woman lies in the length of her neck!

For the Pandung tribe in Burma, having a long neck makes the women more beautiful and be physically attractive.

“Padaung”, in the Shan language means “long neck”.

The Padaung tribe, a subgroup of the Karenni, Burma (Myanmar) is where you will find women moving around with heavy brass and gold alloy coils on their necks to extend it.

The tribeswomen start wearing the coils as early as 5 years old, and as they get older, they add up more coils to their necks.

Culturally For the women, having a long neck is the symbol of wealth, position and beauty.

Apart from being a beauty tradition, it is also said that many myths or histories lie behind the long-neck custom.

The Giraffe Story – Real or Otherwise
The beautiful Kayan people (Myanmar) Credit: Wikipedia

Sydney V. Smith the Giraffe Woman

IN the USA, a woman ‘obsessed’ with giraffes has given up on her dream of stretching her neck after spending 5 years wearing a stack of painful heavy metal rings.

At its heaviest, the stack was made up of 15 rings and weighed an incredible 5lbs.

Sydney Smith, 30, from Los Angeles, California, who calls herself ‘the giraffe woman,’ wanted to be known around the world for her long neck.

Sydney has now given up on her quest, admitting her life had become ruled by the rings.

It was impossible for her to function properly as a long neck woman with fifteen rings around my neck in the U.S.A.

It was a feat that made her an introvert and she began isolating herself.

The Giraffe Story – Real or Otherwise
Kayan women sleeping. Credit: Sydney V. Smith the Giraffe Woman Facebook

Soon she felt like the rings were taking over her life in every way.

‘Unless you are willing to completely isolate yourself and you’re a trust fund baby and don’t even need to leave the house, don’t ever need to drive, then maybe you can pull it off.

When Sydney took the necklace off, she had severe bruising around her collarbone and said her’ neck felt very weak, kind of like arms on a toothpick.

The Giraffe Story – Real or Otherwise
Sydney V. Smith the Giraffe Woman. Credit: Sydney V. Smith the Giraffe Woman Facebook

Conversations with a Giraffe woman

“Allow me to order for us,” that perfectly manicured hand circles my arm with her fire-engine red talons. I grimaced.

A little too intimately, I complain to Pepé LAH Pew.

“You’ve got to meet your HOT client next time and not send me.”

This one turns out to be a model turn extra-on-TV turn advertising woman of certain clout: too many turns, my head’s spinning.

She calls her appearances – cameo. I nearly choke on my Earl Grey.

Cameo is a brief appearance of a known person in a work of the performing arts such as plays or films appearing as themselves. Think Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock.

We are having high tea. And what could be more British than scones?

Ma’  dam’s treat happens at a mock Tudor restaurant in Bangsar. The one that serves delicious buttery scones. Freshly made when you lock in order and bake in a HOT oven.

I have evil thoughts. How do you stuff a Ma’ dam into an oven? Take the elephants out first, of course!

“Nothing quite hits you like the smell of freshly baked scones, it fills the entire restaurant,” she roars for all to hear.

How does one develop a clipped English accent without actually setting foot on Her Majesty’s soil?

“It sets tummy growling, this scent just grows on you,” Ma’ dam says charmingly.

Sssssss said the snake in the grass: Sure honey, come on closer.

It’s that heady light-headed sensation. I was feeling faint, too much sun.

Walking the site with Ma’ dam without breakfast and lunch, save for a small bottle of imported mineral water plays havoc with my mind.

When hungry with low blood sugar, I feel challenged in polite company.

She says the best water comes from France. Bah!

Ma’ dam rattled on about the scones she makes.

Rose Petal Scones, she calls them lovingly, like her little “children”.

More patting with that cold, smooth hand again.

This time on my knee.

“It’s just tweaking the recipe a little bit with the right ingredients that give you such wonderful results,” Ma’ dam gushes.

“But, I’ll indulge you and tell you my secrets,” she winks and leans over to whisper in that raspy little girl’s voice.

I stiffen and plastered a fake smile on my face to stop myself from puking.

Everything’s beginning to sound wrong!

“It’s rose water and dried rose petals and,” she paused for dramatic effect, “fresh lemonade and cream.”

“Err; doesn’t lemon which is acidic curdle the cream?” I ask, a little surprised.

I did, after all, study some science subjects. Domestic science counts too surely.

Ma’ dam replies, angry in her posh English accent

“I happen to know a fair bit about British food!” she holds herself in very high regard to everything English.

This girl remembers the scones that she loves, the ones that turn out light and fluffy, almost a delicious melt-in-the-mouth biscuit that her Godmother has been making for decades.

These scones are giraffe high, almost voluptuous looking.

Godmother bakes them in the hottest part of her oven, placed quite close together when they rise rapidly, the scone sorts of mesh-up into each other like a mini flower bun of sorts.

However, back to Pepé LAH Pew’s HOT client.

Ma’ dam decides to change architects mid-stream.

She found a HOTTER female Interior Designer more talented and with strong inclinations to design state of the art ovens!

And kitchen too of course.

The Giraffe Story – Real or Otherwise
The Giraffe Story.

Which leaves us with The Giraffe Test: Are You Qualified to be a “Professional?”

(something that conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.) Which Pepé LAH Pew insists I take, off the Internet

#1 How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.

This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

#2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, “Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?” (Wrong Answer)

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

#3 The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is still in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.

This tests your memory.

OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities; as a design professional.

#4 There is a river you must cross, but crocodiles inhabit it. How do you manage it without a boat?

Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

Bah! And double Bah! I feel like a lamb (or was that giraffe – no he’s in the refrigerator) lead to the slaughter. Again!

Source:

How Giraffes Got Long Necks

Kayan people (Myanmar)

Sydney V. Smith the Giraffe Woman

 

 

 

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