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Doris Lim Writes Gratitude
Words of Condolence to Express Your Sympathy
Words of Condolence to Express Your Sympathy
The only comforting words of Condolence came from a friend.
I read this heart moving article yesterday.
Joining you in holding sacred space for Yim Mei in our hearts and MG in your heart. They continue to be a voice in our minds and a presence in our hearts.
Hugs to you. ❤️
A week after I wrote, grieving the death of a friend – no goodbyes. The messages I receive border on a lack of understanding and curiosity.
“What happened, Doris?”
Tell me honestly – how do I answer that on a comment line?
The world is now reduced to reading rich snippets or coming to certain conclusions without reading anything.
How do I say words of Condolence?
Too many friends and acquaintances want to talk about how my loss affects them.
My friends died. I’m grieving.
Could you not ask me what happened?
It has nothing to do with you.
Your goal should always be able to express compassion.
Your Words of Condolence for someone grieving.
You are not here to cheer someone who is recently bereaved.
Neither do you ask awkward questions to satisfy your curiosity on social media?
Be genuine when you express Words of Condolence for Someone Grieving.
You need to honest with yourself about your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior before you can be true to your feelings and opinions.
What are the Right Words of Condolence for Someone Grieving
If you put in a little thought, you can find a way to comfort a grieving friend or family member. At my father’s funeral, I remembered having to answer a Spanish inquisition of neighbors, relatives, and kind friends.
How to Comfort Someone Without Words
The one who stood out in the sea of “well-wishers” was someone half my size in stature. She held onto my hand and stood by my side and never left me.
She didn’t say or ask anything and saw it to pass me some water when I needed it.
She pulled me away from curious people at the wake.
What I noticed was no one knew what to do or what to say. Every well-meaning wish sounded wrong.
What you can say to offer Words of Condolence for someone grieving
- I’m sorry.
- My condolences.
- He/she will be dearly missed.
- He/she is in my thoughts and prayers.
- You and your family are in my prayers.
- I hope you find some peace today.
- Be kind to yourself.
- I’m here for you.
- I am saddened to hear about (deceased’s name) passing.
- I am sorry that you are going through this.
- I’ve lost a loved one before and can understand what you may be feeling.
- Know that it’s okay to feel, however you want to feel during this time, and I will be here for you.
- May your memories of (deceased’s name) bring you peace.
- You may want to think about changing what you say. It all depends on who you are speaking to, how well you know them. Do you even know who they are mourning?
What Not to Say When Offering Words of Condolence
It is often easier to say the wrong thing to someone who is grieving – without even realizing it.
When someone is grieving, they are going through an emotional time.
Be extra sensitive. If you are struggling with finding words to comfort someone who is grieving, do not say questions to satisfy your curiosity.
What happened?
This is likely to be viewed as unsympathetic.
Putting Words of Condolence in Writing
If you are writing a note or signing a sympathy card – remember to keep it short and simple.
You can also include a prayer card, funeral money, or a donation to a favorite charity.
Things to avoid in written expressions of sympathy.
Don’t elaborate on the bereaved person – no one may emotionally be ready to read a long letter.
Do not elaborate on your life or other personal issues.
Could you not make it about you?
It has nothing to do with you.
Acknowledge Loss in a Caring Way
It’s not always easy comforting someone, but it is important to acknowledge the loss as soon as possible.
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
The Best Words of Condolence to Say to Someone in Grief
- I am so sorry for your loss.
- I am sorry to hear that; I am here for you.
- Saying nothing, be with the person.
- Give a hug instead of saying something.
- Hold hands.
- You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
- I am usually up early or late if you need anything.
- I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can.
- I wish I had the right words; know I care.
- I am always just a phone call away.
The Worst Words of Condolence to Say to Someone in Grief
- Be strong; don’t cry in public.
- So he died, after that what happened?
- At least he lived a long life. Many people die young.
- He is in a better place.
- There is a reason for everything.
- She brought this on herself.
- God loves her, so he wanted her to be with him.
- You are still you; you can make another baby.
- I know how terrible you must feel.
- His time is up.
Grieving the Death of a Friend
“I’m grieving the death of a friend,” I said quietly.
I was trying to understand grief during the COVID-19 pandemic. Everything felt unreal.
Malaysia went into MCO on 18 March 2020. On April Fool’s Day, I received a message that my dear friend, Stephanie, had passed away.
It was a hard day. I gathered the strength to tell my classmates.
Everyone wanted to know how she died, but no one asked, “Are you okay?” or “Are you grieving?”
Remembering Stephanie
I wanted to meet Stephanie for lunch in Kuala Lumpur, where she worked. We had stayed close after leaving school.
Both of us worked in the Central Banking District and loved Indian food. We often shared long lunches filled with laughter.
Our friendship lasted more than fifty years.
Only one other classmate, Kathy, knew how close we were.
Whenever I visited KL, Kathy would cook her famous curries and biryani, and we’d eat, chat, and laugh together.
The Lunch That Never Happened
I wanted to take Stephanie to a Brazilian grill.
I called a few times to plan, but she seemed busy. I thought it was just work stress.
Later, she told me her eyes were blurred. Doctors found a tumor pressing on her optic nerves.
Without surgery, she would lose her sight.
I was traveling when she went in for the operation. Her last message said it went well. But soon, she was back in ICU.
Because of the lockdown, I couldn’t visit. None of us could attend her funeral — only her family. That was when friendship grief set in, heavy and silent.
Coping with Loss During the Pandemic
I promised myself I would meet her friend who stood by her through everything. When the world opened again, we would sit and mourn together.
Losing Stephanie was painful. I didn’t expect another loss to follow so soon.
Finding Out Too Late
Months later, I thought about MG, another dear friend. I hadn’t heard from her in over a year. When I checked my WhatsApp, her last message was a birthday wish.
She always remembered my birthday. I often forgot my own.
That day, I discovered MG had passed away — more than a year ago.
She had inspired me to travel and encouraged me to write. We met in the 1980s while working in nearby buildings. Like Stephanie, she was part of my weekly lunch routine.
It felt surreal that these two women who shaped my life never met each other.
Social Media and Grief
When I shared my grief for MG on Facebook, someone commented, “Who is MG?”
The words stung.
Coping with loss in the digital age is strange. Behind every post is a real person, not just a name on a screen.
I replied kindly, but a wave of sorrow swept through me. That was when I realized social media isn’t always a friend when you’re mourning.
I needed to allow myself to grieve, even if no one else recognized it.
A Grief Coach’s Words
A grief coach, Veronique Ficheux, once told me, “Sending you and your friend prayers and blessings. Do forgive yourself.”
I did.
Her words made more sense than anything else I heard. Losing two lifelong friends back-to-back was heartbreaking, but forgiveness helped me find peace.
Bereavement and Healing
The loss of a friend is like losing a piece of your own story. Stephanie and MG carried my memories, laughter, and shared history.
When death takes our friends, it also takes our connection to the past — and the future we imagined together.
At first, I thought a good cry and a goodbye would be enough. I was wrong. Grieving doesn’t follow a timetable. It comes and goes like the tide.
Now I cherish the lessons they left behind. I wish I could tell them,
“Thank you for believing in me.
I love you.
Forgive me for not saying goodbye.”
What Happens When We Die
Keanu Reeves once said, “I know that the ones who love us will miss us.” That truth brings comfort.
Bereavement is the deep pain that follows love. It reminds us how much someone meant.
Grief doesn’t end. It changes shape. Through it, we learn that love can live on — in memory, in stories, and in the courage to keep moving forward.
The Blessing – Sing A Blessing Over Malaysia
During the Covid 19 pandemic – a unique and challenging time in Malaysia, many could not worship when the nation is in lockdown.
The churches are thriving during this pandemic despite the lockdowns and closure of physical locations.
Our buildings may be closed, but the church is very much alive!
80 churches and movements representing hundreds of others online to sing “The Blessing” over Malaysia.
The singers sang in multi-languages and displayed the different cultures and ethnicity of Malaysia. This gave the song a multi-dimension and deeper meaning.
Many moved to tears.
120 singers standing together as one as a Malaysian choir sang ‘The Blessing” in Malaysia – with the desire to sing a song to encourage.
And to give the nation HOPE for the future.
Kudos to the amazing organizing task force, singers, musicians, and production team!
May the wave of God’s blessing sweep across our beloved nation as we sing and declare Numbers 26: 24-26 over Malaysia.
I’m so proud to be Malaysian after listening to this Youtube rendition of “The Blessing.”
The Blessing YouTube Video, which premiered May 15, 2020, has garnered thousands of views.
‘THE BLESSING” Malaysia Lyrics
Verse —
The Lord bless you and keep you
Make his face shine upon you
And be gracious to you
The Lord turn His face toward you
And give you peace
Barakatan (Be blessed) – Dusun
Lalu ngintu (and protected) – Iban
使祂的脸光照你 (The Lord make His face shine upon you) – Mandarin
也赐恩给你 (and be gracious to you) – Mandarin
Karthar unakku samathanam (The Lord give you peace) – Tamil
Mare senang (Give you peace) – Kelabit
Chorus —
Amen, amen, amen
Tuhan s’lalu, berkati
Wajah-Nya menyinari mu
Dengan Kasih kurnia
Memandang mu, Tuhan beri
Kedamaian
Chorus —
Amen, amen, amen
Bridge —
Rahmat Tuhan Bersama mu
Tuk seribu generasi
Keluarga, Anak Kamu
Cucu cicit, Anak m’reka
Ke hadapan Bersama mu
Belakang mu, sebelah mu
Sekeliling dan Dalaman
Tuhan Ada Dengan Kamu
Waktu siang, waktu petang
Waktu pergi, Waktu datang
Susah hati, senang hati
Dia ada Untuk Kamu, Dia ada Untuk Kamu
May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And your family and your children
And their children, and their children
May His presence goes before you
And behind you, and besides you
All around you, and within you
He is with you; He is with you
In the morning, in the evening
In your coming, and your going
In your weeping and rejoicing
He is for you; He is for you
#TheMalaysiaBlessing
#BerkatiMalaysia
#祝福马来西亚
A Multitude of voices sing “The Blessing” Over Malaysia
The churches involved include in the mission and production of “The Blessing.”
- Acts Church, Subang Jaya
- Agape Community Church, Seremban
- Alpha Colours Church, Glenmarie
- Basel Christian Church of Malaysia, Kota Kinabalu
- BEM Baithani, Miri
- BEM Bandar Bintulu
- BEM Bandar Bintulu (bm)
- BEM Bandar Jaya, Bintulu
- BEM Bandar Kapit
- BEM Canada Hill, Miri
- BEM Life, Miri
- BEM Olive Garden, Kuching
- BEM Pelita, Miri
- Calvary Charismatic Centre, Donggongon
- Calvary City Church, Kota Masai
- Christian Life Gospel Center, Petaling Jaya
- Church of Praise, Ipoh
- Church of the Divine Mercy, Shah Alam
- Collective, Kuala Lumpur
- Community Baptist Church, Petaling Jaya
- Community Baptist Church, Subang Jaya
- Cornerstone Community Church, Miri
- DUMC, Petaling Jaya
- Emmanuel Baptist Church, Kuching
- Emmanuel word Center, Kulim
- Every Nation Church, Kota Damansara
- Every Nation Church, Petaling Jaya
- Every Nation Church, Puchong
- Excel Point Community Church, Penang
- First Assembly of God, Kota Bharu
- First Baptist Church, Subang Jaya
- Full Gospel Assembly, Kuala Lumpur
- Full Gospel Church, Johor Bahru
- Gereja Methodist Tudan, Miri
- Glad Tidings Petaling Jaya
- Glory Christian Centre, Kota Kinabalu
- Good News Fellowship, Kuching
- Grace Charismatic Centre, Kuantan
- Harvest Christian Assembly, Klang
- His Church, Kuala Lumpur
- Holy Trinity Brompton, London
- Holy Trinity Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur
- Hope City, Kuala Lumpur
- Jelutong Chinese Methodist Church, Penang
- Kingdomcity, Kuala Lumpur
- Klang Chinese Methodist Church
- Klang Presbyterian Church
- Kuala Lumpur House of Prayer
- LIfegen Church, Kuala Lumpur
- Mega Chinese Methodist Church, Petaling Jaya
- Metro Tabernacle, Kuala Lumpur
- NLFC, Kuala Terengganu
- Penang House of Prayer
- Petaling Jaya Gospel Hall
- PJEFC, Petaling Jaya
- Protestant Church in Sabah, Sandakan
- RLM Fellowship, Melaka
- SAND
- Setapak Gospel Centre, Kuala Lumpur
- SGC, Kuala Lumpur
- Shern En Methodist Church, Kota Kinabalu
- SIB City Church, Kota Kinabalu
- SIB Kingdom Worship Community, Kota Kinabalu
- SIB Kota Kinabalu, Likas
- SIB Pekan Tambunan
- SIBKL, Petaling Jaya
- Soul, Alor Setar
- SS Gospel Centre, Petaling Jaya
- St Columba’s parish, Miri
- St Mary’s Orthodox Syrian Cathedral, Kuala Lumpur
- St Patrick’s Anglican Church, Tawau
- St Paul’s Church, Petaling Jaya
- Star park 众星园
- Tamil Methodist Church, Petaling Jaya
- The New Covenant Church, Petaling Jaya
- Trinity Methodist Church, Penang
- Wesley Methodist Church, Klang
- Wesley Methodist Church, Teluk Intan
- Wesley Methodist Church, Kuala Lumpur
- World Harvest Church, Sunway
- Worship Kolektif Malaysia
Production Credits of “The Blessing”
Audio produced by John Jeeves @ Soar Studio & Lester Wong
Video edited by Shaun Kam
For questions and more information, please contact —
themalaysiablessing@gmail.com
You can connect The Malaysia Blessing at
Instagram: http://bit.ly/TheMalaysiaBlessingIG
Facebook: http://bit.ly/TheMalaysiaBlessingFB
Twitter: http://bit.ly/TheMalaysiaBlessingTW
#TheMalaysiaBlessing
#BerkatiMalaysia
#祝福马来西亚
#MalaysiaAsirvatham
“The Blessing” Chris Brown, Cody Carnes, Kari Jobe, Steven Furtick
©️2020 Capitol CMG, Paragon, Kari Jobe Carnes Music, Worship Together Music, Writer’s Roof Publishing Music by Elevation Worship Publishing
Source:
The Malaysia Blessing YouTube