Dear Future Lover, I must tell you that my heart is fragile.
If I trust you, will you handle me with care?
I’ve had my heart broken so many times – I have completely lost track.
I’ve cried an ocean of tears, drowned in my tears, and now live in the sea.
You know the poetry I love but refuse to share?
I write poetry when I fall in love.
Endless poetries written in longhand with a calligraphy pen are invisible prose. I drank the ink—now you know why I’m not fond of squid-ink pasta or any black food.
For me, I am authentic and allow myself to feel both positive and negative human emotions.
Think of these positive, feel-good.emotions. If emotions are an excellent elixir of life, the proverbial fountain of youth – would you want more of these in your life?
happiness
joy
interest
curiosity
excitement
gratitude
love
contentment
If negative emotions cause sickness, diseases, and eventual death, wouldn’t you make sure you dont invite these problematic, even painful emotions to enter the door of your mind and stay?
How do you turn someone down without feeling guilty?
Can you say no?
6 Forgiveness is the key to living a happy life.
Forgiveness is the hard part. Making someone happy is easier.
Forgiveness of others and forgiveness of self are the two hardest parts of every relationship.
Think back to the time you held back forgiveness.
Think back to the time you forgave.
7 Making someone happy.
I remember that my mom would buy me ice cream whenever
8 Celebrate little victories.
Life is full of ups and downs, BUT it’s the little wins, the victories that keep up in a celebratory mood. I learn to celebrate everything and not to wait for the HUGE gains. So, this is one reason I feel a sense of accomplishment and happiness.
Today I cleared a drawer of old receipts.
If I know Gem, she will ask, why did you allow yourself to accumulate rubbish in the first place.
Now I when I hear that nagging voice, I just laugh at her memory.
I take enormous pleasure in these little achievements. They add up and pay BIG dividends in our emotional bank account!
Remember the happiness you felt when you accomplish something right.
8 Turn negative talk around.
You have friends, business associates, neighbors, and worst still negative relatives?
I had an old colleague who we call Dr. Doom and Prof. Gloom.
Now that I’m nowhere near him, I just make sure I stay far away from negative people.
9 Be Optimistic. Live a happy life.
When you reduce your time spent with negative people, situations, and the environment, you get to breath better.
Being optimistic comes more accessible and more comfortable.
For our career change, I had to disassociate myself from many people so that new like-minded people could come into our life.
At one point, it was a little crowded.
10 Practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness brings our awareness and attention to this very moment.
The present.
I do a simple box breathing technique to bring about being present, aware, and curious.
When I am mindful of our breath, it helps me accept the challenges I am going through – decreases stress, helps me see every situation as is.
Through the practice of mindfulness, I find peace and affirmation in ourselves.
11 What are you working on?
Me, Myself and I
12 Find your work-life balance.
Work takes up a lot of our day; we are in danger of losing yourself. Remember, your friend, who was concerned? Well, he is right – it should not be the only thing that I do. For a while, I thought of Steve job,
“Aside from work, I have little joy.” – Steve Job
It’s important to pursue activities and interests beyond our job. But then, our job is not a job – it is our passion. So, we are aware and am a work in progress.
I need to learn to create a work-life balance and learn to express yourself, laugh, and have fun.
All work and no play make a dull Doris.
13 Be creative.
Being a creative my entire life means I need to stay upbeat.
You may think of artists as being moody and depressed, but studies show that engaging in creative activities makes you happier.
Those who spend time using their imagination and being creative have more enthusiasm and are more likely to have feelings of long-term happiness and wellbeing.
Such creative activities can include writing, painting, drawing, and musical performance.
Learn to see happiness wherever you are. Live a Happy Life.
14 Do what you love.
It’s hard to be happy if you hate your job – even if your job pays the bills and buys your holidays overseas.
If you don’t find joy working in a job that provides a high level of satisfaction, you will not be happy no matter how much your salary.
15 Why is the money necessary?
In the face of the COVID-19 pandemic – I thought to ourselves having money and not being able to it makes no sense. The reality of having money is to spend it on experiences.
16 Spend wisely.
How you spend your money will determine how happy you feel – buying experiences and sharing the experiences with others are the things that make us happy.
The top of our list is travel, dining, movies, art galleries, and concerts.
Happiness connected to acquiring material things, and items fades.
It is our different experiences that define our purpose – our passions in life.
17 Cultivate gratitude – YOU WILL ALWAYS BE RICH.
#gratitudechangeseverything
Gratitude changes everything.
Ever since I found out to show grateful appreciation for what I receive in life, things start to change – I become happier and feel more content.
I find more and more ways to cultivate gratitude daily.
Being grateful is something that pays high dividends in playing it forward to help others.
I learn ways to show appreciation.
When I spend little moments each day to acknowledge all that is good in our life – I start to see that I’m no longer anxious. You can try it – soon, sadness, and depression will be a thing of the past.
18 Giving Back.
Be generous.
If you have money, give some of it away. If you don’t have money – give your time.
Give to those you love.
Give to those you care about.
Give to others in need.
You will be surprised that when you give, you get a sense of selflessness and humanitarianism.
Many of those who are generous in spending money on others; well, they tend to have good health, more positivity, and a sense of wellbeing.
Perhaps giving has a feel-good side effect, which lowers stress and your blood pressure.
Remember to be kind. Money is just pieces of paper to the dead. Help the living.
19 Life is to be celebrated – Nor dreaded!
Gem told me a long time ago.
Since pain is universal in the human race; it seems to be an inexorable law of our planet that sooner or later great happiness is followed by great sorrow. ~ Joe L. Wheeler
Of course, that is NOT TRUE. I didn’t buy into that thinking.
Imperfect Gem would control the joy in her life. Her explanation was this;
In life happiness is followed by sorrow. Once you feel joy at any point in your life, you wish to be in that situation forever but that is not how things work.
Nothing is constant; everything that this world is relative.
Hence, it’s all in your perspective.
She never caught my joy, and I refuse to buy into her belief system.
Oh well, we win some – we lose some. Life goes on.
20 Stop worrying. You can’t change anything by worrying.
When we worry about everything, we become gripped with fear and anxiety.
When negative thoughts bound our minds, everything may spiral out of control.
We become apprehensive about everything and anything and become paralyzed with afraid.
The truth is we cannot experience joy with our thoughts consumed by worry.
21 Keep happy people in your circle of friends.
Remember the old proverb; Misery loves company.
People who are suffering are comforted by the knowledge that others are also suffering like them – a universal truth.
Gloomy moods are contagious.
The more we share experiences, the more our emotions and behaviors become synchronized.
Therefore, the secret to long-term happiness is surrounding yourself with others who are also happy.
22 Live in the moment. Live a happy life.
While we dream and plan – our thoughts often stray to the unresolved hurts or events of the past.
The reality is we can only experience the present.
What we are going through now, be it drinking a good cup of coffee or enjoying a conversation.
To be fully alive and to live a happy life, we need to be fully engaged with NOW.
Live each moment, appreciate each breath. And begin to cultivate a deeper appreciation for your life.
Being alive and living in the moment!
23 Little treats and surprises.
I used to hate surprises. I never like a present that I received. I was ungrateful, come to think of it.
But all that changed with gratitude. I learn to be happy and accepting.
24 Surprise yourself.
When we set goals outside our comfort zone, we may be surprised at the outcome of our goals.
When we allow ourselves to be in new or unexpected situations, something changes.
There is excitement, and you may be more than a little surprised by life.
25 Listen to and Engage with Music.
When we are listening to music – our brains release dopamine.
Eating chocolate does the same.
Dopamine is a neurochemical connected to pleasure and reward.
People who attend concerts, listen to music, or engage in dance, often share that they feel good.
They experience a high level of happiness and a sense of wellbeing.
I just feel happy when I listen to lively music.
Sometimes speaking to someone with a zest for life is good.
You can hear the enthusiasm in their voice, and it is lifting.
26 Build meaningful relationships.
Few of us realize our most fundamental needs is a deep desire to love and be loved.
As humans, we need friendship, community, love, and happiness.
All of us have a fundamental need to be seen and heard.
We need to interact and connect with others – most of the time, we gravitate towards our kind.
We seek out our tribe – the people who will support us and understand us.
Without meaningful relationships and no one to be there as we go through life’s roller-coaster ride – We feel lonely and isolated.
We’re happier when we pursue and happiness with others.
27 Spend MORE time in nature.
The higher the time we spend outdoors in nature, the more we can relate to life – the higher our sense of appreciation of our place in the world.
Our connection to nature, when we hike, go for treks, walk in the park, or even gardening plays a role in maintaining positive mental health.
28 Reminisce over happy memories.
We become nostalgic because nostalgia makes us happy.
Reminiscing about our past can help us reconnect with good times, and happy memories inevitably help us reconnect with feelings of love.
We remember our sense of wonder and fulfillment as children.
When we have meals with old friends, we feel closer to them. Our past shapes us and defines our identity today.
29 How can we live a happy life?
It’s the feeling of truly enjoying our life, and the desire to make the very best of it.
Happiness is the “secret sauce” that helps us be our best and to do our best.
When you know that happy people are more successful and happy people are better at reaching goals.
What do you choose? I choose to be HAPPY.
30 What will you choose?
The choice is entirely up to you to live a happy life.
When Gem looks at me and asks, “I need more positive energy.”
I want to tell her to look inside herself. I don’t dispense positive vibes, and it’s not something that anyone can buy over the counter.
What deeds can we perform to live a happy life?
31 What is the secret of happiness?
“The secret to happiness is to make everyone around you happy.”
By default, we will get the satisfaction of bringing joy to others, and their positive energy will come back to us as we live a happy life.
US Police Officer – Basketball Cop Game Changer Story
US Police Officer – Basketball Cop Game Changer Story
The Game Changer Story started in Gainesville, FL – January 15, 2016, @ 5:01 pm when US police officer, Bobby White, responded to a noise complaint in a neighborhood.
In Gainesville, FL, kids were shooting hoop on the street.
US police officer Bobby White’s response changed the community and impacted children’s lives across the United States.
What we need to do as a body of humanity is to respond, not to react.
I know this video is old, but Bobby White’s message is one of unity, understanding, and changing the community’s lives.
What does the phrase game changer mean?
Game changer A game-changer may be a new person, idea, event, or protocol that upends the established order.
Something that is a game-changer is radical and disruptive, usually in a positive way.
The term game-changer is a sports term that was adopted by the business community.
Who is US police officer Bobby White?
According to Wikipedia – Bobby White. Robert “Bobby” White, often nicknamed the Basketball Cop, is an American US police officer from Gainesville, Florida, a member of the Gainesville Police Department (GPD).
As of 2016, White has held his position for eight years.
Hi, and thank you for visiting the Basketball Cop FB page!
My Story / My Mission:
Hi, and thank you for visiting the Basketball Cop FB page!
My name is Bobby White. I am a US police officer in Gainesville, FL. On January 15, 2016, at around 5:30 pm, I was dispatched to a noise complaint.
The complainant called to report that there were several kids playing basketball “loudly” in the street. I arrived on the scene to find what was described by the caller.
Kids were playing basketball.
I pulled up, activated my patrol car dashcam as required by policy, and exited my car.
I contacted one of the loud “suspects” (lol) who was holding a basketball.
I could tell by the look on his face that he was concerned with my presence.
I assumed that he thought that I was going to make him stop playing.
To eliminate that concern, I decided to engage him in conversation and began playing ball with him.
Within minutes, several other kids joined in.
Yep, I guess you could say that I added to the “problem.”
After about 12 minutes of playing, I had to leave to answer another call for service.
Before leaving, I told the kids that I had no problem playing basketball and asked them to try not to be too loud.
I asked the kids if they play there every day.
They told me that they did, so I said to them that I would be back with “back up” on another day for another game.
I left to come back with some fellow officers shortly.
US Police Officer Bobby White. Image: Basketball Cop Foundation Facebook
The following week, Ofc Ben Tobias (GPD PIO) saw the dashcam video and posted it on GPD’s Facebook page.
By midnight that day, the video had been viewed a million times!
That day, people from all over the world began contacting the
Gainesville Police Department to express their joy with the video.
One day, I became a US police officer who was doing my job to some international hero. I began reading the thousands of comments on Facebook.
Most of the comments were thanking me for handling the call and stating that there needed to be more officers like me.
As I appreciated the beautiful things that viewers were saying, I couldn’t help feeling a little saddened and surprised that so many people thought that what I did was extraordinary.
I can tell you that most officers I know would have handled that call just as I did.
As Law Enforcement Officers, we know the importance of building relationships with the communities we work in by interacting with citizens and building trust.
Gaining trust is most important with the youth.
It wasn’t long before news outlets from all over the world began requesting interviews with me.
My first reaction was that I did not feel that I deserved the recognition that it was receiving and declined all interviews.
After speaking with some of my fellow officers, I realized that this could be an opportunity to talk about my surprise that what I did was being perceived as out of the ordinary.
So, I decided to begin doing interviews to get my message out and hope that maybe I could help change that perception.
The interviews began GMA, Fox & Friends, TMZ, CNN, BBC,
Sky News London, Fuji TV (Japan), and many more.
Every major news outlet out there either interviewed me or wrote a story on my video.
And then something cool happened.
A few days after the video went viral, the “Rematch” with the kids planned a rematch.
My team of officers and I gathered in the GPD briefing room, preparing to head out to play with the kids, when the door opened.
The Growth of Basketball Cop Foundation – Shooting Hoops Image: Basketball Cop Foundation Facebook
*On walks, Shaq!
Shaq saw the video and decided that he was going to back me up in the rematch.
The rest of the story has been well documented and shared by way of pictures and videos, including Shaq’s game with the kids and the following trip to watch the Orlando Magic beat the Atlanta Hawks with a last-second buzzer-beater.
I do not doubt that this incident has changed some regarding how the police interact with the community, but I guarantee that it has changed the nine kids’ lives that have come to be known as the #HoopsNotCrime Crew.
It wasn’t long before basketballs and basketball hoops began anonymously showing up for me at GPD.
This is extremely exciting.
It has now opened up the opportunity to extend the benefit of this story beyond the HoopsNotCrime Crew.
It is no secret that there is some distrust between the police and the community.
Police agencies and the officers on the street are doing the best they can to improve this relationship.
The issue is those police agencies have no budget for “community policing.”
I created this foundation, hoping that this story would keep developing into something huge that would help generate resources that would help me fund community policing efforts across the USA.
I am proud to say that we have been able to provide community policing resources to approximately 200 police agencies across the country over the last three years, connecting 100’s hundreds of cops with 1000’s’s1000’s’s of kids.
The donations we have made range from
sending basketballs to cops to hand out to kids in their community,
sending basketball goals,
building full NBA sized courts in low-income communities,
sponsoring back to school and Christmas events,
supplying students in need of new sneakers,
to even purchasing brand new washers and dryers for multiple schools,
*so that the school resource officers could wash students’ clothes who come to school wearing the same soiled clothes to school all week.
*On walks, Shaq!
Shaquille Rashaun “Shaq” O’Neal, a retired American former professional basketball player, is a sports analyst on the television program Inside the NBA on TNT.
He is considered one of the greatest players in National Basketball Association history.
“Shaq” O’Neal, a retired American former professional basketball player, showed up to inspire the kids. Image: Shaquille Rashaun Facebook
Basketball Cop Foundation Mission
In the simplest terms, if there is a US police officer anywhere in the country, who wants to help someone in their community, and money is the only thing they lack to make it happen, we are here to help make it happen.
How can you help?
Hit the “Learn More” button at the top of the page and donate, or if you are not in a position to give, please share our mission.
If you know of a US police officer who could use our help to connect with their community, get them in touch with me.
How one US police officer made a difference to enrich the lives of youths in his community.
As a US police officer, it doesn’t take long to see how damaged the relationship is between our country’s law enforcement and the youth in their communities.
There is distrust, misunderstanding, and a lack of respect between the two.
It’s why I have always done my part to try to repair that relationship with the kids that I interact with.
It’s why I handled the noise complaint the way I did.
Before this, all I could do is try to make a difference one kid at a time.
I now felt like I might have the platform and the community’s support to affect kids across the country.
I decided that I would dedicate my time to work and my weekends to make a difference.
The Basketball Cop Foundation was born.
Pic and message from Delray Beach (FL) PD. Nice work! 💙 Image: Basketball Cop Foundation Facebook
What is the Basketball Cop Foundation?
A 501c3 non-profit organization dedicated to building relationships between our country’s Law Enforcement and the youth in our communities through TRUST.
Founded and operated by an active-duty US police officer
It is no secret that there is a damaged relationship between our country’s Law Enforcement and the youth in the communities we serve.
I believe that this is driven by a lack of trust, misunderstanding, and misperception.
I also believe that kids do not prefer to feel this way, but society has influenced them with the help of social media and the news.
Kids who do not trust or respect the police are less likely to report being a victim of a crime and even less likely to come forward as a witness of a crime.
It is a fact that kids with no reason to respect the law or the Officers in their community are far more likely to commit juvenile crimes themselves.
I believe that the only way that we, as US police officer s, will repair these relationships is by proactively going out into the communities and positively interacting with the kids.
There are many ways to do this.
It can be as easy as
saying, “Hi.”
giving a “high five” as we walk by or
engaging them in conversation.
This works to a point, but it’s hard to make a solid connection with a 10-year-old when you have little in common.
That’s where sports become a valuable tool…. Especially basketball!
US Police Officer Bobby White connecting with young girls when he patrols their neighborhood. Image: Basketball Cop Foundation Facebook
You would be hard-pressed to find a kid who doesn’t enjoy basketball.
Add a US police officer who can dribble a ball, and you have just found the beginning of a relationship.
The Basketball Cop Foundation’s mission is to connect Law Enforcement agencies across the country with the kids in their communities.
This will be accomplished primarily by supplying the agencies with sports equipment. The recipient agency will then, in turn, donate the equipment to groups of kids in their community through their Patrol Officers.
Not only does the initial donation of the equipment open the door to new relationships, but it gives the Patrol Officers in those areas a place where they know they can interact with the kids regularly and continue to build on those relationships.
The Basketball Cop Foundation’s mission is to connect Law Enforcement agencies across the country with the kids in their communities. Image: Basketball Cop Foundation Facebook
What does Basketball Cop Foundation do?
Beyond supplying sports equipment, the foundation would also fund Police/Youth community events, Police/Youth sports tournaments, and fund the renovation and building of basketball courts in apartment complexes, parks, churches, etc.
What makes this mission great is that not only is it simple to execute, but it has been proven to be effective.
US Police Officer Bobby White and partner with kids. Image: Basketball Cop Foundation FacebookUS Police Officer Bobby White and partner with kids. Image: Basketball Cop Foundation FacebookUS Police Officer Bobby White and partner with kids. Image: Basketball Cop Foundation Facebook
In just a short time (as of 7/5/18), the foundation has supplied basketball goals, renovated basketball courts, or sponsored police/community events in approximately 80 different Law Enforcement jurisdictions across the country, connecting hundreds of officers with hundreds of kids.
Together as a community, we can make a difference in the future of our country’s youth!
People always ask if I’m still in contact with the original #HoopsNotCrimeCrew. The answer is. They are family.
Today I spent some time with my “little” dude Antwan. I love watching these kids grow into men. 😊
US Police Officer Bobby White watched Antwan grow into a fine young man. Image Basketball Cop Foundation Facebook
Disclaimer: This is not an official Gainesville Police website.
The Gainesville Police do not maintain department social media sites and departments. The views of the Basketball Cop Foundation may not necessarily reflect the views of the Gainesville Police Department.
Please visit, and if you feel compelled, do donate for a worthy cause.
Basketball Cop Foundation is a 501c3 non-profit organization on a mission to improve Police/Youth/Community relations nationwide.
Editor’s note:
In light of the George Floyd: Black Lives Matter protests spread across the world, we need reminders of the groundwork by US police officer Bobby White and many police officers and community leaders who have since 2016 impacted the lives of black kids in the hoods positively with love, encouragement, purpose, and giant HOPEthrough basketball.
You Are Enough: Believe You Are Loved and Valuable
This touching tale tells of how a mother says, “You are enough.” (Author unknown)
A mother watches as her daughter walks away, a quiet reminder that love endures and you are enough.
I met her in her seventies at the airport, a woman whose presence carried the quiet weight of decades lived fully, yet gently. She was saying goodbye to her daughter, who had just announced her departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged. The mother said, “I love you, and you are enough.”
The daughter replied, “Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. You are enough, too, Mom.”
They kissed, and the daughter left. The mother walked over to a nearby window, where I was seated, her steps measured yet heavy with emotion.
I could see she wanted and needed to cry.
I hesitated, not wanting to intrude, but she welcomed me in with a gentle question,
“Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?”
“Yes, I have,” I replied.
“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?”
“I am old, and she lives far away. Life has its challenges, and the next trip back will likely be for my funeral,” she said.
Understanding What It Means to Know You Are Enough
“When you were saying goodbye, I heard you say, ‘you are enough.’ May I ask what that means?”
She smiled softly, the kind of smile shaped by decades of life’s lessons.
“That’s a wish passed down through generations. My parents used to say it to everyone. When we said it, we meant the other person should have enough love, enough resilience, and enough joy to carry them through life. Not perfection, but balance, and the wisdom to know their own worth.”
Then, as if reciting from memory, she shared:
Sunshine to brighten even the darkest days
Rain to help appreciate the sun
Happiness to keep the spirit alive
Challenges that make small joys greater
Gains and losses that teach appreciation
Meaningful hellos for every goodbye
She paused, tears brimming.
“Life is fragile,” she said, “but knowing you are enough allows you to meet each day without fear or regret.”
How Long Does It Take to Realize You Are Enough?
They say it takes;
a minute to meet a special person
an hour to appreciate them
a day to love them
an entire lifetime to truly understand your worth
Remembering this brought back memories of expressing love, gratitude, and appreciation for my father.
He, who believed in my dreams and gave me my first typewriter to write my stories.
The value of hope, encouragement, and personal growth is immeasurable.
Take time to live. “Life, like any work of art, needs thought,” said Albert Camus.
For those of us in our forties, the pressures of career, family, and daily responsibilities can feel relentless.
Meeting someone in her seventies showed me the quiet power of knowing I am enough.
It has changed how I face challenges, nurture relationships, and grow through life’s changes.
Learning, showing appreciation, cultivating gratitude, and embracing love all reinforce that you are enough just as you are.
Life is not measured only in accomplishments, but in presence, compassion, and the courage to keep growing.
Take Time to Love
Love is cultivated slowly and gently. Actions speak louder than words. Children, pets, and adults alike feel it when we show care and attention.
When someone lashes out or withdraws because they feel unloved, we teach love through patience, gentleness, and meaningful actions. True words are not always sweet, but actions always reveal the truth.
Your impact on the world is significant whether you know it or not. You are significant. You are enough.
Embracing Life Fully in Later Decades
As we grow older, it becomes even more important to honor ourselves, nurture our passions, and cultivate meaningful connections.
Knowing you are enough allows you to approach each day with confidence, gratitude, and love.
Take time to care for your body, your mind, and your heart.
Celebrate achievements, embrace imperfections, and continue learning.
Life is not about perfection—it’s about growth, presence, and purpose.
Every stage of life brings new lessons and opportunities.
When we truly accept that we are enough, we no longer seek constant external validation.
Instead, we can embrace the richness of our experiences, the depth of our relationships, and the quiet joys that make life meaningful.
You are enough. You are loved.
Every day is an opportunity to live fully, for yourself and for those around you.
Words of Condolence to Express Your Sympathy
Words of Condolence to Express Your Sympathy
The only comforting words of Condolence came from a friend.
I read this heart moving article yesterday.
Joining you in holding sacred space for Yim Mei in our hearts and MG in your heart. They continue to be a voice in our minds and a presence in our hearts.
Tell me honestly – how do I answer that on a comment line?
The world is now reduced to reading rich snippets or coming to certain conclusions without reading anything.
Joining you in holding sacred space in your heart.
How do I say words of Condolence?
Too many friends and acquaintances want to talk about how my loss affects them.
My friends died. I’m grieving. Could you not ask me what happened?
It has nothing to do with you.
Your goal should always be able to express compassion.
Your Words of Condolence for someone grieving.
You are not here to cheer someone who is recently bereaved.
Neither do you ask awkward questions to satisfy your curiosity on social media?
Be genuine when you express Words of Condolence for Someone Grieving.
You need to honest with yourself about your thoughts, beliefs, and behavior before you can be true to your feelings and opinions.
Words of Condolence to Express Your Sympathy
What are the Right Words of Condolence for Someone Grieving
If you put in a little thought, you can find a way to comfort a grieving friend or family member. At my father’s funeral, I remembered having to answer a Spanish inquisition of neighbors, relatives, and kind friends.
How to Comfort Someone Without Words
The one who stood out in the sea of “well-wishers” was someone half my size in stature. She held onto my hand and stood by my side and never left me.
She didn’t say or ask anything and saw it to pass me some water when I needed it.
She pulled me away from curious people at the wake.
What I noticed was no one knew what to do or what to say. Every well-meaning wish sounded wrong.
What you can say to offer Words of Condolence for someone grieving
I’m sorry.
My condolences.
He/she will be dearly missed.
He/she is in my thoughts and prayers.
You and your family are in my prayers.
I hope you find some peace today.
Be kind to yourself.
I’m here for you.
I am saddened to hear about (deceased’s name) passing.
I am sorry that you are going through this.
I’ve lost a loved one before and can understand what you may be feeling.
Know that it’s okay to feel, however you want to feel during this time, and I will be here for you.
May your memories of (deceased’s name) bring you peace.
You may want to think about changing what you say. It all depends on who you are speaking to, how well you know them. Do you even know who they are mourning?
Words of Condolence to Express Your Sympathy
What Not to Say When Offering Words of Condolence
It is often easier to say the wrong thing to someone who is grieving – without even realizing it.
When someone is grieving, they are going through an emotional time.
I called a few times to plan, but she seemed busy. I thought it was just work stress.
Later, she told me her eyes were blurred. Doctors found a tumor pressing on her optic nerves.
Without surgery, she would lose her sight.
I was traveling when she went in for the operation. Her last message said it went well. But soon, she was back in ICU.
Because of the lockdown, I couldn’t visit. None of us could attend her funeral — only her family. That was when friendship grief set in, heavy and silent.
Coping with Loss During the Pandemic
I promised myself I would meet her friend who stood by her through everything. When the world opened again, we would sit and mourn together.
Losing Stephanie was painful. I didn’t expect another loss to follow so soon.
MG, my adventurous friend who encouraged me to write and explore the world fearlessly.
Finding Out Too Late
Months later, I thought about MG, another dear friend. I hadn’t heard from her in over a year. When I checked my WhatsApp, her last message was a birthday wish.
She always remembered my birthday. I often forgot my own.
That day, I discovered MG had passed away — more than a year ago.
She had inspired me to travel and encouraged me to write. We met in the 1980s while working in nearby buildings. Like Stephanie, she was part of my weekly lunch routine.
It felt surreal that these two women who shaped my life never met each other.
Social Media and Grief
When I shared my grief for MG on Facebook, someone commented, “Who is MG?”
The words stung.
Coping with loss in the digital age is strange. Behind every post is a real person, not just a name on a screen.
I replied kindly, but a wave of sorrow swept through me. That was when I realized social media isn’t always a friend when you’re mourning.
I needed to allow myself to grieve, even if no one else recognized it.
A Grief Coach’s Words
A grief coach, Veronique Ficheux, once told me, “Sending you and your friend prayers and blessings. Do forgive yourself.”
I did.
Her words made more sense than anything else I heard. Losing two lifelong friends back-to-back was heartbreaking, but forgiveness helped me find peace.
Bereavement and Healing
The loss of a friend is like losing a piece of your own story. Stephanie and MG carried my memories, laughter, and shared history.
When death takes our friends, it also takes our connection to the past — and the future we imagined together.
At first, I thought a good cry and a goodbye would be enough. I was wrong. Grieving doesn’t follow a timetable. It comes and goes like the tide.
Now I cherish the lessons they left behind. I wish I could tell them, “Thank you for believing in me. I love you. Forgive me for not saying goodbye.”
What Happens When We Die
Keanu Reeves once said, “I know that the ones who love us will miss us.” That truth brings comfort.
Bereavement is the deep pain that follows love. It reminds us how much someone meant.
Grief doesn’t end. It changes shape. Through it, we learn that love can live on — in memory, in stories, and in the courage to keep moving forward.
The Blessing – Sing A Blessing Over Malaysia
During the Covid 19 pandemic – a unique and challenging time in Malaysia, many could not worship when the nation is in lockdown.
The churches are thriving during this pandemic despite the lockdowns and closure of physical locations.
Our buildings may be closed, but the church is very much alive!
80 churches and movements representing hundreds of others online to sing “The Blessing” over Malaysia.
The singers sang in multi-languages and displayed the different cultures and ethnicity of Malaysia. This gave the song a multi-dimension and deeper meaning.
Many moved to tears.
120 singers standing together as one as a Malaysian choir sang ‘The Blessing” in Malaysia – with the desire to sing a song to encourage.
And to give the nation HOPE for the future.
Kudos to the amazing organizing task force, singers, musicians, and production team!
May the wave of God’s blessing sweep across our beloved nation as we sing and declare Numbers 26: 24-26 over Malaysia.
I’m so proud to be Malaysian after listening to this Youtube rendition of “The Blessing.”
The Blessing YouTube Video, which premiered May 15, 2020, has garnered thousands of views.
‘THE BLESSING” Malaysia Lyrics
Verse —
The Lord bless you and keep you
Make his face shine upon you
And be gracious to you
The Lord turn His face toward you
And give you peace
Barakatan (Be blessed) – Dusun
Lalu ngintu (and protected) – Iban
使祂的脸光照你 (The Lord make His face shine upon you) – Mandarin
也赐恩给你 (and be gracious to you) – Mandarin
Karthar unakku samathanam (The Lord give you peace) – Tamil
Mare senang (Give you peace) – Kelabit
Chorus —
Amen, amen, amen
Tuhan s’lalu, berkati
Wajah-Nya menyinari mu
Dengan Kasih kurnia
Memandang mu, Tuhan beri
Kedamaian
Chorus —
Amen, amen, amen
Bridge —
Rahmat Tuhan Bersama mu
Tuk seribu generasi
Keluarga, Anak Kamu
Cucu cicit, Anak m’reka
Ke hadapan Bersama mu
Belakang mu, sebelah mu
Sekeliling dan Dalaman
Tuhan Ada Dengan Kamu
Waktu siang, waktu petang
Waktu pergi, Waktu datang
Susah hati, senang hati
Dia ada Untuk Kamu, Dia ada Untuk Kamu
May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And your family and your children
And their children, and their children
May His presence goes before you
And behind you, and besides you
All around you, and within you
He is with you; He is with you
In the morning, in the evening
In your coming, and your going
In your weeping and rejoicing
He is for you; He is for you
The Blessing of Numbers 6:24-26 NIV
#TheMalaysiaBlessing #BerkatiMalaysia #祝福马来西亚
A Multitude of voices sing “The Blessing” Over Malaysia
A Multitude of voices sing “The Blessing” Over MalaysiaA Multitude of voices sing “The Blessing” Over MalaysiaA Multitude of voices sing “The Blessing” Over MalaysiaA Multitude of voices sing “The Blessing” Over Malaysia
The churches involved include in the mission and production of “The Blessing.”
Probably Tomfoolery Bedtime Story Viral Video Touch Hearts
Probably Tomfoolery Bedtime Story Viral Video Touch Hearts
Probably Tomfoolery’s bedtime story, the Covid-19 fairy tale video, “The Great Realisation” – is the “medicine” that the world needs to make a difference in our lives.
Many people, including celebrities around the world, are touched by Tomos Roberts’ modern-day poem.
The poem’s heart-warming message came at a time as a much-needed balm to a world coping with fear in the face of a pandemic.
Americans are gripped by Covid-19 anxiety.
Health professionals and psychologists have noted an increase in the levels of fear as coronavirus spreads.
Throughout the world, families are locked in and lived in fear of contact with others.
We look to the day when we can go out together as a family.
Why does Probably Tomfoolery’s bedtime story work?
We all love fairy tales as children and even now, more so as adults.
Probably the Tomfoolery bedtime story is a fairy tale with a difference.
When we recall, bedtime stories are proven to help both parents and children quieten down to prepare for sleep and rest.
The bond fostered between parents and children is what keeps the family together.
Social media is flooded with photos of meals cooked by working mothers who used to buy ready-cooked meals.
Singles have progressed from ramen noodles to cooking full meals.
Some start baking, others start gardening and grown herbs in pots.
Everyone shares photos and selfies at home.
When we take a trip and make travel plans to feel fulfilled, we enjoy the exercise we carry in our home.
“I want the world to be better because I was here.” – Will Smith
We start clearing and cleaning out closets. Give things away.
We call each other. I must have had the most meaningful connections made during this period.
Many others feel the same way. We put on music and dance as if no one is watching.
We celebrate birthdays on Zoom and chat with our friends, and plan phone calls.
In the meantime, we realize something. At least I did.
It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy. I like my own company. I like my books and simple meals. And I like writing.
“The Great Realisation” by Probably Tomfoolery’s Tomos Roberts. Photo: YouTube.com/ProbablyTomfoolery
Morden Day Fairy Tale Come True
Life isn’t so hard.
My friend, well, he’s just missing out on the blessings he has.
I said, take a breather.
This is a good time to rest and plan.
A good time to stay home, live peacefully, and happily.
But he continued to cry out, “I will go mad if I can’t work.”
So, WORK.
Continue to cook, take photographs of your food, and be active on social media.
Do something. Occupy yourself.
Maybe it’s time for me to send him a Probably Tomfoolery bedtime story video now.
Perhaps my friend needed to believe in fairy tales and himself again.
He asked me flatly, “ why do you spend so many hours a day writing – probably no one reads what you write.”
I smile.
If I can impact just one person with my words, that to me is enough.
Who is Probably Tomfoolery?
Tomos Roberts, aka Probably Tomfoolery, is a Kiwi-born Welsh poet who has captured people’s imagination worldwide with poems.
Robertson’s bedtime fairy tale, The Great Realisation, has gone viral and impacted the world positively.
Watch Probably Tomfoolery’s bedtime story – the world will be a better place after the coronavirus pandemic than before – explaining it in a feelgood form in the four-minute clip.
VIDEO / Probably Tomfoolery
What is the bedtime story you want to tell your children?
Start writing a good one now with each page from your daily life.
Hope Sustains Retired Couple – Hurricanes in Florida Survival Story
Hope Sustains Retired Couple – Hurricanes in Florida Survival Story
Living in Florida, we experience hurricanes in the summer months through November.
Some years it is quiet with no hurricane. Orlando is in the middle of Florida, USA, and it is usually the Caribbean and the coasts of Florida that get the hurricanes.
Three Hurricanes in Florida in 2004
However, in the summer of 2004, Orlando experienced not just one but three hurricanes.
One of the three is called hurricane Charley, and winds gust up to 240 km/hr.
It was my first experience of a hurricane.
We learned that hurricane Charley had strengthened into a Category 4 storm and was now headed straight toward our home.
There was nothing we could do but prepare by securing outdoor furniture, etc. Nothing is loose and blown away.
Early September is when hurricane season peaks in the USA.
Some people boarded their windows, but we did not. We watch on TV, monitoring weather reports.
Hurricane Charley was getting to our location, and the wind speed was increasing rapidly.
There is nothing else to do but hunker down inside the house and pray.
We can hear the wind and hope it passes by us quickly. The longer it hangs around, it increases speed.
We can only pray and hope it goes by fast, and no damage is done to our home and those in our neighborhood.
After about 45 minutes, everything went silent.
The wind was gone.
All I saw was just a blue sky.
How Often Do Hurricanes in Florida Occur?
We survived Hurricane Charley with no house or property damage. Then two more hurricanes came through Orlando that summer.
Each time that happened, we had faith, we will be fine. We expected everything to be okay, and it was. Worrying would not help as it was beyond our control.
Some people were not as lucky as us.
High winds are a primary cause of hurricane-inflicted loss of life and property in the USA.
Homes were damaged, roofs are gone, and water got into the interior.
They lost hope, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
They got help and aid from the government and insurance companies.
A great storm is like a sunny day to a person of great faith. A gentle wind is like a great storm to a person of great fear. – Matshona Dhliwayo
In the face of Hurricanes in Florida – What is Hope?
Wishing and praying for tangible things.
When that happens, faith arises!
Faith believes in things not seen nor proven.
Faith attracts positive but fear, on the other hand, draws negative and destructive stuff.
You cannot have faith and fear at the same time!
We did not feel any fear nor worry during the whole ordeal as we had done all the preparations, like having enough non-perishables in case we lose power and no use of a fridge.
We could sleep at night when the winds were blowing through our neighborhood as we knew worrying does not help the situation. We placed it in God’s hands. We had faith everything will be ok.
So, we have to have hope and faith in bad situations we cannot control. There is always a solution and help.
Hope sustains a retired couple as their faith what kept them calm during the hurricanes.
What to do During a Hurricane?
Stay away from low-lying and flood-prone areas.
Always stay indoors during a hurricane because strong winds will blow things around.
Stay inside and keep away from all windows, skylights, and glass doors.
Go to a safe area, such as an interior room, closet, or downstairs bathroom.
Never go outside the protection of your home or shelter before confirmation that the storm has passed the area.
Leave mobile homes and to go to a shelter. If your home isn’t on higher ground, go to a shelter.
If emergency managers say to evacuate, then do so immediately.
Cecelia Lee is a retired tennis coach from Florida.
Potato, Coffee, and Eggs Story – A Mindset Parable
Potato, Coffee, and Eggs Story – A Mindset Parable
I read this mindset parable about the Potato, Coffee, and Eggs years ago. It is very apt now when times are tough, and we experience a difficult period.
Many companies have closed, and many people are laid off. In the parable, a father told his daughter to be strong when times are tough.
He explained that life could be hard, but the circumstances can crush you or make you stronger. It all depends on your choices.
Change your mindset to change your life.
Things happen. We make decisions. Even when we say we refuse to make any decision – we have. We decided that we didn’t want to do anything and want a status quo.
Whatever decision we make, it shapes our life.
It’s that simple.
Sometimes we need to learn to respond instead of reacting.
A little pause will create a moment of increased awareness of the words we choose to speak or the actions we choose to take.
Here’s a short story to help you remember that how we respond to situations is our choice:
A Mindset Parable of the Potato, Coffee, and Eggs
Once upon a time, a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable.
She didn’t know how she was going to make it as she just lost her job. The hotel she was working closed suddenly.
She was tired of fighting and struggling every day.
It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one BIGGER and more complicated soon followed.
Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. That was a sign that says enter at your own risk.
He filled three pots filled with water and placed each on a high fire. Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot, and ground coffee beans in the third pot.
He then let them sit and boil without saying a word to his daughter.
But following the recipe, she wondered what they are making.
The daughter moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing.
“I wonder what it could be?”
After 20 minutes, the Chef turned off the burners.
He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl.
He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup. Turning to her, he asked.
“Daughter, what do you see?”
“Potato, Coffee, and Eggs,” she hastily replied.
“Look closer,” he said, “and touch the potatoes.” She did and noted that they were soft.
He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.
“Father, what does this mean?” she asked.
He then explained that the Potato, Coffee, and Eggs had each faced the same adversity– the boiling water.
Each ingredient reacted differently.
The potato went in strong, hard, and unrelenting, but it became soft and weak in boiling water.
The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard.
However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.
“Which are you,” he asked his daughter.
“When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?”
Coffee is best served hot.
A Mindset Parable
The Potato, Coffee, and Eggs parable is a well-renowned story that has great lessons for our daily life.
Of course, the boiling water represents the challenges we face in our day-to-day lives, whether they be large or small.
Everyone has a choice in life.
All these ingredients and the boiling hot water have created a wonderful you!
Potato
When our struggles come knocking, we can attack them head-on but cave when the challenges become too much for us to handle.
Potatoes appear hard and tough until you boil them.
Coffee Bean
When the water gets hot, the coffee releases its fragrance and flavor. If you are like the coffee bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When things are at the worst, you get better, like the ground coffee bean.
Eggs
You could timidly attack your situations and let the challenges meld you into something more, something hard and unrelenting.
Eggs are fragile but harden under pressure.
Perhaps this is what we should all strive for—adaptability in the face of seemingly impossible challenges. Going in headstrong can result in you getting knocked flat on your ass, but going in timid won’t result in an amazing change either.
Rolling with the punches, however, and recognizing when to adapt is a skill that would be undoubtedly handy in our day to day lives.
Change is inevitable and happens every single day.
It is unavoidable. So why expend energy trying to fight the inevitable when you can adapt and overcome?
Everybody has infinite choices in life, some big and some small. You are in control of your future.
When adversity knocks on your door, you have the power to choose how you want to deal with it.
Life is possibly a matter of circumstance. If you made a wrong decision, you could always make another.
How you choose to survive and thrive is entirely up to you.
Where you want to end up in life is the greatest gift any of us have – the power to make a positive change. Decide and Make the most of your time here.
Remember what the chef has shown you – know what you are made of…
A parable is a succinct, didactic story, in prose or verse, that illustrates one or more instructive lessons or principles. It differs from a fable in that fables employ animals, plants, inanimate objects, or forces of nature as characters, whereas parables have human characters. ~ Wikipedia
