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Things I Wished I Knew At 20 My Grandmother Never Told Me
In my 50s, I became a grandmother to my 20-year-old self.
I have friends in their 70s and a mother heading towards her 90s.
Often I would wonder what sort of changes she is feeling in herself in these turbulent times.
People get panicky during the lockdown for extended time periods with the COVID-19 pandemic.
My friends would ask this question “How are you coping?”
I wish I could share my experience with my younger self, and maybe I would open up to more ideas and different ways of doing things.
Here are the answers that my mother gave me that would change my story.
1 Loving The Woman In The Mirror
After loving my parents, siblings, spouse, children, and friends, I have now started loving myself.
2 I have realized that I am not “Atlas”.
Or the Globe. The world does not rest on my shoulders.
3 I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors.
A few pennies more will not break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.
4 I leave my waitress a big tip.
The extra money might bring a smile to her face.
She is toiling much harder for a living than I am.
5 I stopped telling the elderly that they’ve already narrated that story many times.
The story makes them walk down memory lane & relive their past.
6. I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong.
The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me.
Peace is more precious than perfection.
7 I give compliments freely and generously.
Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient but also for me.
And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never, NEVER turn it down, say “Thank You.”
8. I have learned not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt.
Personality speaks louder than appearances.
Many younger people (and some older ones too) have an innate fascination with shiny objects.
I do not need high heels to feel tall, a loud wardrobe to be heard above the din of voices, AND I would rather carry a $30 purse with $300 inside than the other way around.
9 I walk away from people who don’t value me.
They might not know my worth, but I do.
There is no need to put up with louts and boorish people who throw tantrums in public or private to get attention.
10 I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race.
I am not a rat, and neither am I in any race.
I’m good going at my own pace. Life is not a race. The end game is the same for everyone – no one gets out alive.
11 I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions.
It’s the emotions that make me human.
I cry when I am touched.
I cry when I feel joy.
I cry because I love someone.
Noting wrong with feeling this way.
12 I have learned that it’s better to drop the ego than to break a relationship.
My ego will keep me aloof, whereas, with relationships, I will never be alone.
I don’t have to be right, neither do you.
We can agree to disagree and have different opinions. It is okay that you see B&W or colour, and I see greys.
I also realise that some people are colour blind, and that’s alright too.
13 I learn to love younger girls like my own daughter.
Some grow up without a mother, and some are orphans as an adult.
I let them be; I just tell them thar they are good.
I see the goodness in them.
When they tell me the wonderful things that happen, I am so glad when they have their own family.
14 I learn that houses are not homes, and home is where the heart is.
It doesn’t matter how many rooms you have in your home. What matters most is how much love you can fill in each room.
15 I learn to love the wide-open space call the outdoors.
Going about for walks is good. Having a companion is better.
The miles are easier and to clock 10,000 steps with a friend is so much easier than going alone.
16 I learn to use Facebook
I look at photos and give as many likes, smiley faces and hearts as possible.
Some people look for validation and affirmation; I am here to give them to whoever needs a smile or an encouraging word.
17 I make decisions slowly.
There is no rush to decide to go anywhere or do anything in particular. as long as I get to go out for a meal or a drink outside, it is a wonderful outing.
18 I learn to celebrate everything.
I don’t wait for birthdays or big events. Getting a slice of cake and coffee is a good enough reason to celebrate.
19 I learn to have hope, even if hope comes in a lottery ticket.
I tell my daughter I gamble not so that I win or enjoy a gambling session.
I gamble so that I might win the first prize and give her the money.
She has come to terms with this, and I am glad.
20 I have learned to live each day as if it’s the last.
After all, it might be the last when we say good night and go to bed.
When we wake up, we are blessed to live another day.
21 I am doing what makes me happy.
I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself.
Happiness is a choice.
You can be happy at any time, choose to be!
I Wished I Knew The Secret To Live Gracefully
Why do we have to wait to be 60 or 70 or 80? Why can’t we practice this at any stage and age?
An Attitude Of Gratitude Changes Everything – Everything Changes With Gratitude
An Attitude of Gratitude really does change everything.
When I started my journey, I was sceptical that this one emotion – a gift of gratitude could change anything.
We live in a world filled with bad news.
Every day we are mercilessly bombarded with more bad news.
We are reminded that we lack.
Social media fill us with images of what a perfect life looks like.
We see what others have, what they do, where they go and are often left feeling inadequate.
Television provides bad news.
Advertising provides the one-two punch of deprivation.
In the end, instead of feeling happy, motivated, and focused, we feel unhappy, impoverished, and incapable of making any impact.
When compared with the excitement of others’ lives we see around us, these feelings of inadequacy only highlight reels of people’s lives.
The images they pose rarely show the harsh daily reality of their lived experience.
We can focus on those around us, those who have achieved more and do more, and we end up feeling deprived.
That’s a choice.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” ~ Albert Einstein
An Attitude of Gratitude Changes Everything
In my twenties, I was angry.
This morning I had a short 1-minute video for review with my team.
Often we are all our worst critics, and I was no exception.
When I viewed myself, I saw flaws: so many flaws and shortcomings.
I almost cringed when they played my video.
When I looked at my teammate’s faces, saw their smiles, and nodded, I began to watch the video. Why do they see?
“You are so gentle.”
“We love your energy.”
“People trust you. I would come up to you and tell you all sorts of secrets.”
“I like it. You are kind. You sound like someone who will listen to me.”
I was amazed to hear that.
Focus On Growing An Attitude Of Gratitude
We can look for what’s missing, OR we can consciously direct our focus to feel grateful for all the beautiful things in our lives.
Promise – life gets better.
When I allowed myself to study my life through the lens of gratitude – things began to change for me as a grateful person.
I started to focus on the many reasons I have to be grateful – I knew that this would forever change my life!
What is An Attitude of Gratitude?
Gratitude is a gift.
And when we have an attitude of gratitude, our life begins to change for the better.
Some of us may think of gratitude as an emotion we experience when things are going well.
When we focus on the many reasons we have to be grateful, we feel better – our self-esteem improves.
And when we feel better, our physical health gets better.
A simple shift in focus on gratitude helps reduces stress and increases levels of contentment.
We often associate gratitude with well-being and contentment.
While feeling grateful brings a wide range of mental health benefits – gratitude isn’t just cuddly puppies and positive thinking.
Let us be grateful, not for the material possessions given to us. But the small ways that we can offer something useful back to others.
Gratitude Changes Everything
Yes, it does!
I have experienced many changes in my life when I am grateful.
Instead of rushing around and feeling frustrated because “life happens to me,” I began to pause for gratitude and appreciate it.
I feel better, both physically and mentally.
It truly is life-changing to experience contentment instead of stress.
It is one thing to feel grateful about your life. That is not enough.
We need to take it to the next level and express that gratitude.
I believe the essential factor is self-discipline.
We can shift our focus.
Remember, when focus goes, energy flows.
What does it take to start being grateful for what we have right now?
For me, I choose to focus on my blessings.
These gifts include my mother, our health, my simple home, my love for writing, and my experiences in encouraging people.
I like to devote my quiet time to writing.
Some people may be distracted by others’ success, wealth, and life experiences regularly.
Life is not about the car you drive, the houses you own, or the holidays you take.
If the conversations revolve around handbags, shoes, facial, spas, and manicures, some people are more concerned with pampering.
It is good to recognize these things for what they are and be happy for those who experience them.
However, when we focus on these things with envy, it leads to our feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness.
If you study the happiest people, they are just happy because they have this great attitude of gratitude.
They don’t have to have something new, bright, or shiny to make them happy.
When we feel unhappy and upset, our blood pressure spikes.
Having a grateful heart changes our perception every single day.
If we can maintain a focus on gratitude, we can enjoy our lives with higher levels of happiness and contentment that are not tied to material possessions.
An expression of gratitude changes a bad day of unnecessary suffering and self-pity to a smiling and life satisfaction.
What does it take to start being grateful for what we have right now?
For me, I choose to focus on my blessings.
These gifts include my mother, our health, my simple home, my love for writing, and my experiences in encouraging people.
I like to devote my quiet time to writing.
Some people may be distracted by others’ success, wealth, and life experiences.
Life is not about the car you drive, the houses you own, or the holidays you take.
If the conversations revolve around handbags, shoes, facial, spas, and manicures, some people are more concerned with pampering.
It is good to recognize these things for what they are and be happy for those who experience them.
However, when we focus on these things with envy, it leads to our feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness.
Gratitude does change our perception.
If we can maintain a focus on gratitude, we can enjoy our lives with higher levels of happiness and contentment that are not tied to material possessions.
How To Have More Gratitude?
A day to day life well-lived has goals and integrity – it is one of gratitude and thankfulness.
“Life moves fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” ~ Ferris Bueller
We choose our days to live it to the fullest extent possible.
However, it is not about living your future life in the fast lane or a monotonous scenic route.
We aim to move from confusion to clarity and not to remain stuck for our entire lives being unhappy.
Life happens, and no matter what the route is, we need to remember to pause and show appreciation for what we have.
Are there silver linings? Of course, we live the fullness of life by moving from denial to acceptance of the things we can’t change.
Here are eight ways to have more gratitude in your daily life as you grow your gratitude journey.
1 Appreciate Everything – Don’t be picky
Being grateful starts with small things.
You don’t have to save Gratitude for the “big” things in life.
Start being grateful by appreciating every good that happens.
There is nothing too small for you not to be thankful for.
Remember little children. They are always happy and thankful for small things.
It can be something simple, like clear weather or an empty parking space.
It doesn’t take an expensive toy or trip to impress a child; some very young children happily play with an empty box.
The important thing is not to leave anything out of your gratitude list
2 Find gratitude in your challenges
When something negative happens, or you are faced with a setback, you need to list down the things you can still be grateful for.
Remember that gratitude is not only being thankful for the beautiful experiences in life.
Sometimes life throws a lemon at you. Be grateful that you can make lemonade with that lemon instead of grumbling.
Dig deeper into some of your past experiences.
Try to remember a time you were grateful, even when things were difficult.
You are the person you are today because of that one decision to be grateful for what you had.
Even if you can’t think of anything, be grateful that you are breathing!
Stand tall and see your self-confidence soar!
3 Practice mindfulness
Think of a least one thing that you can be grateful for every day.
The picture in your mind and feel the emotion in your body – feel an improvement in self-confidence already?
Start daily and add one more item each day.
Soon you will think of five to ten things you are grateful for.
Your brain is a powerful tool, and you can train your brain like the rest of your body.
Your gratitude practise daily will help rewire your brain to be naturally grateful.
Before you know it, you’ll feel the positive effects and start feeling happier.
Experts say that it only takes eight weeks of gratitude practice – People can change their brain patterns, leading to happiness and greater empathy.
The more you practice, the more quickly you can feel grateful and happier.
4 Keep a Gratitude Journal
Write your positive thoughts down in a simple notebook, a gratitude journal, where you write down daily what you are grateful for.
Name it “Things You Are Grateful For.” This will keep you mindful and on track to always refer to the positives instead of difficult times in your life.
As you put pen to paper and write, something magical happens.
You think about something good that you are grateful for daily.
Your writing will help you focus and distract from bitter and ungrateful thoughts.
Keep journaling every day, and you will see the difference in your life.
If you can think of anything to write, try copying down a gratitude quote that resonates well with you.
People who keep a journal felt better about their lives and are more optimistic.
5 Volunteer Your Time
Give back to the community.
You can always find something you can do to give back to your co-workers or others in your local community.
You can be more grateful for the things you take for granted like the trashman doing his job quietly every morning.
I have seen many kind people volunteer their time to clean the beach or pick up trash from the promenade.
If you don’t like humans, then volunteer to save animals or spend time at a shelter.
There is so much more you can do to help others.
Volunteering is the single, most reliable way to increase your well-being immediately.
Helping others helps you!
6 Express gratitude
When you express gratitude, your feelings of gratitude increase.
The same gratitude when you express for the people you care about, your level of gratitude and happiness increases.
You can express your gratitude by writing a letter to a person they were grateful for.
However, when you express your gratitude by making a phone call to the person you are thankful for directly, happiness levels shoot through the roof.
Expressing gratitude for someone not only makes their day a little brighter, but this simple act also increases your happiness level.
7 Spend time with loved ones
Start close to your home base; spend some time with your family and friends.
As you grow closer and strengthen your relationship, you can express your gratitude to the people you care about.
How to start?
Start the conversation with a “Hello.”
You can complement their new shirt or even haircut.
Write a personal note for a greeting, and see how this changes your recipient’s demeanor.
8 Improve your happiness in other areas of your life
Being happy can make you feel more grateful.
By definition, being grateful can also make you more comfortable.
Just as you can change your physiology and so change your thinking.
There are many simple ways to change your mood, such as going for a run, swimming, playing racket games, or singing!
When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, you feel better, and showing gratitude will be more comfortable.
Once you enjoy the feelings of contentment and peace, you will soon make list after list of all the things in your life you’re thankful for.
Feeling A Grateful Attitude
Feeling grateful can increase positive emotions and happiness and boost your well-being.
Gratitude is strongly and consistently associated helps people feel more positive emotions and greater happiness.
When we feel more grateful and start to relish these pleasurable experiences, our health improves.
We can build strong relationships and deal better with adversity.
Gratitude is such a powerful emotion.
People feel and express gratitude in many ways.
Giving thanks can make you happier – Harvard Health.
When you feel grateful, it is quite difficult to feel angry, depressed, or sorry for yourself.
Final Word on Attracting Gratitude
People who keep a Gratitude Journal are more likely to make progress toward their goals.
Overall, a greater sense of connection to others, an upbeat and optimistic view towards life, and better sleep quality.
When you are happy and contented – you sleep better at night.
If you would like to experience some of these significant benefits, why not try some simple ways to make gratitude a part of every day?
Bonus: 40 simple ways to make gratitude a part of your everyday life
- Keep a Gratitude Journal and add to it daily.
- Smile more often.
- See the beauty in nature each day.
- Tell someone how much you appreciate them and you love them.
- Nurture the friendships you have – good friends don’t come along every day.
- Watch inspiring videos – that remind you of the good in the world.
- Do an act of kindness each day.
- Avoid negative and destructive content, be it social media or the news.
- Cook meals with love; think of nourishing the people you love.
- Volunteer for organizations that help others donate their time or money.
- Avoid gossip, and don’t speak badly about anyone.
- Spend quality time with your lover.
- Remember to give more compliments than you receive.
- Send a handwritten card to and tell the recipient something nice.
- Add to your gratitude list daily – once in the morning and before bed.
- If you encounter a negative thought, try to see the positive side of the situation.
- Commit to one day a week when you promise not to complain.
- When people do a good job and give due recognition.
- Reward effort, if someone does something nice for you, return the favor.
- Meditate with your gratitude list, giving thanks for blessings.
- Live mindfully, for the moment.
- You can’t change the past or future by worrying, so you don’t have to choose suffering over happiness.
- Thank the people who serve you in the community: the shopkeepers, the bus drivers, etc.
- Thank your loved ones for the little things they do for you.
- Post quotes and images around your home that remind you to be grateful.
- Visit an elderly neighbor and say thank you for being a part of your life.
- Call your grandparents – tell them you love them.
- Embrace challenges and turn these into opportunities for growth.
- Bless your enemies or people you dislike.
- Be grateful when you learn something new.
- See the growth opportunity in your mistakes.
- Help your friends see the positive side of life.
- When times are bad, focus on your friends who are at your side.
- When time is good, notice and help others.
- Make a gratitude collage, cut out pictures of all the things that you are grateful for.
- During meal times, share your gratitude list.
- Make Practicing gratitude a habit.
- Focus on your strengths and abilities.
- Share the benefits of gratitude with family, children, and friends.
- Share gratitude each day by posting a tweet, Facebook post, or Pinterest.
Be the change you want to see globally; you can start by making gratitude a part of each day.
If we all practice gratitude more regularly, the world will be a better place.
Go From A Scarcity To Abundance With A Gratitude Mindset
Have you ever thought of how you can go from Scarcity to Abundance with a Gratitude Mindset?
Have you paid much attention to that track record that’s running at the back of your mind daily?
Are your thoughts focused on lack instead of offering Thanksgiving for what you already have?
Do you feel fearful and see everything in a negative light?
Maybe your focus is on what you don’t have instead of practicing an attitude of gratitude.
Being happy, hopeful, and positive affect us on a deep level.
We want to improve all aspects of our lives to realize our full potential – as women.
It may seem that everything goes well for someone positive and motivated – they receive all the blessings.
Whereas someone positive and motivated, whereas things seem to work against you for you.
Do you feel like the Universe is silent, and no one is here to help you?
Sometimes we feel like we don’t have the support of family and friends.
Or we lack the resources to fulfill our purpose.
In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, Stephen Covey explains that when we live in a world of scarcity, we need to compete for resources.
We lack a mindset of gratitude.
We have no awareness that there is an abundance of resources available in the world for everyone.
Does this sound familiar?
The Scarcity Principle
The Scarcity Principle works on Reactance – increases its perceived attractiveness and value.
- Rare only the first 3 people
- Unique – just for family and friends only
- Time-limited Black Friday sale
A Scarcity Mindset
A scarcity mindset believes that there is lacking, and nothing is ever enough.
When a mind thinks this way, we fill it with anxious thoughts.
Feelings of fear and stress will make us act selfishly.
Remember, people, rushing to buy masks and toilet paper at the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic?
A grateful mindset flows out of a deep inner sense of security grounded in the belief there is more than enough for everyone.
How can we heal our Scarcity Mindset?
I first learned about the Scarcity Mindset from Stephen Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” The book says explains the scarcity mindset:
“Most people are deeply scripted in what I call the Scarcity Mentality.
They see life as having only so much, as though there was only one pie out there.
And if someone were to get a sizeable piece of the apple pie, it would mean everybody else gets lesser.
The Scarcity Mentality is the zero-sum paradigm of life.
People with a Scarcity Mentality have a hard time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit–even with those who help in the production.
They have a hard time being happy when other people are successful.”
The Scarcity Mindset
A Scarcity Mindset revolves around that there will never be enough, resulting in feelings of fear, stress, and anxiety. It makes a person feel insecure, inadequate, and jealous of others.
It also makes you think if one person gets it, everyone else can’t have it.
The Scarcity Mindset focuses on the short term of every decision.
It’s like going to a restaurant without finding the food but deciding to order every item on the entire menu.
Sometimes you hear of women comparing each other’s bodies, outfits, sex lives, promotions, and successes.
You probably heard of people who remove the entire tray of oysters from the buffet line to their table for the same purpose I don’t want to be left out.
I must have it right now so they can’t be taken away later.
The Scarcity Mindset ignores the long term of every choice; everything is short term gain.
There is no progress where you grow from improving a little bit at a time on a regular basis.
What are the 3 types of Scarcity?
Scarcity falls into three distinctive categories :
- demand-induced
- supply induced
- structural
Demand-induced scarcity happens when the demand for the resource increases and the supply stays the same.
Fast-growing national populations put pressure on natural resources (water scarcity) in urban areas.
Rising prosperity (shown by higher per capita incomes) leads to increased ownership of properties and the use of resource-intensive consumer durables.
What are the three effects of Scarcity?
The Scarcity Effect is the cognitive bias that makes people place a higher value on a scarce object.
This lowers value on something that is abundantly available.
Scarce objects immediately become more desirable than a readily available product.
Scarcity increases negative emotions, which affect our decisions.
They link socioeconomic scarcity to negative emotions like anxiety and depression.
How does Scarcity affect my life?
The scarcity of resources can affect us just because we can’t always have what we want.
If you don’t have a job, lack of money and funds means you may not buy the dream car you want.
To adjust, we have to either earn more money or adjust our dream car to afford something more realistic.
These changes can affect thought processes and behaviors and affect families and communities.
To adjust, we have to either earn more money or adjust our dream car to afford something more realistic.
The effects of scarcity contribute to the cycle of poverty.
“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.” ― Mark Twain
The Abundance Mindset
Covey illustrates the Abundance Mindset flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security – grounded in the belief there is more than enough for everyone.
It is the paradigm where there is plenty to spare out there for everyone.
The Abundance Mindset results in a sharing of profits recognition, prestige, and decision-making, which opens creativity, options, alternatives, and endless possibilities.
The focus is on the long-term stem from a deep understanding that even though you may not get something now, it doesn’t mean you can’t have it after that.
Someone else getting that promotion does not mean you will never be promoted or get a better job.
When we have positive feelings towards others, it is easier to feel happy for someone else.
There is no internal pain or jealousy of someone else’s success you too can be successful; it takes nothing away from you.
For personal finance, having an abundance mindset means you can invest confidently and become neutral about taxes.
The two sureties in life are death and taxes.
What does it mean to have an Abundance Mindset?
Someone with an abundant mentality is an optimist and is genuinely happy for others when they achieve success.
Conversely, those with a Scarcity Mindset are competitive and resent other’s success.
What does it mean to have Abundance?
The definition of abundance is to have a sizeable amount of something or have more than you need.
It’s often used to describe positive qualities, such as “an abundance of love.” Abundance is the opposite of scarcity.
An example of abundance would have a huge bumper crop of wheat for the year.
An abundance of wealth is having a ton of cash.
What God says about Abundance Is What We Say About Having a Gratitude Mindset?
The origin of the term “abundant life” comes from the Bible verse John 10:10b “I have come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly.” “More abundantly” means to have a superabundance of a thing.
“Abundant life” refers to life in its abounding fullness of joy and strength for spirit, soul, and body.
What is the difference between Scarcity and Abundance?
Abundance means knowing that you are enough.
You know that you will have enough.
Instead of the darkness and hopelessness of a Scarcity Mindset, Abundance is a feeling of excitement, positivity, and hopefulness in life.
What is the difference between Scarcity and Abundance?
Abundance means knowing that you are enough.
You know that you will have enough.
Instead of the darkness and hopelessness of a Scarcity Mindset, Abundance is a feeling of excitement, positivity, and hopefulness in life.
How do you go from scarcity to an abundance mindset?
- Focus on what you have.
- Surround yourself with people that have an abundance mindset.
- Create win-win situations.
- Incorporate gratitude into your daily life.
- Train your mind to recognize the possibilities.
The Law of Balance
“Abundance means being generous with others and grateful when others give to you.”
According to this law, whatever you give to the world will give back to you.
How to Switch to an Abundance Mindset and Cultivate Growth
Naturally, it makes sense to cultivate and adopt an abundance mindset.
Frugal living makes little sense if there is no joy in life’s important aspects, such as friendships, romance, career success, and skill-building.
When you push the Scarcity Mentality out of your life, you can open up and start building an Abundance Mindset to cultivate growth.
Here are some ways you can start with.
Have Appreciative Conversations About Gratitude
When you engage in conversations with friends and family, ask about things that have gone well for them in the last week.
Please focus on the things they are working on or building.
If they need encouragement or help, make an offer, and share.
Talk about personal successes and celebrate your achievements.
Leave out the pains and failures—all the things that don’t augur well, you can edit and leave those bits out of the conversation.
Keep ideas in mind and look forward to spending positive and enriching conversations.
Declutter Your Home and Organize Your Life
Over the years, we accumulate a lot of clutter in our life.
Look at your closet; it may surprise you to see you no longer wear your old clothes but still keep them around.
The simple process of decluttering, taking charge of organizing your possessions, and your time will help with your workflow—and ultimately create an abundance mindset.
Organizing things exposes you directly to the riches you already have that you can grow more or repurpose.
“If you don’t need it – Junk it” – Doris Lim
Reduce Your Consumption of Advertising – Social Media Shows a Filtered View.
Most forms of media get their revenue from the sale of advertising space.
You will be constantly bombarded with advertisements taunting a desire for things you don’t have.
The best way is to read books or listen to music instead of watch television or go on YouTube.
You can make better use of your time, gardening, or making crafts.
Use that time out to do something meaningful, like exercising or learning to cook a new recipe.
Share What Your Gratitude Mindset With Others.
When you share, a few things happen.
First is the feel-good feeling that you can help improve another person’s life.
Second, the item that is sitting at home is being used by someone else.
Third, when you regularly share, you will find others willing to share with you, too it can be information and help.
Sharing is not always about sharing possessions or giving away money.
The best sharing is time and knowledge well spent to connect with the people in your circle or community.
You can spend an afternoon catching up or helping a neighbor.
Attempt to connect with people and also to introduce like-minded people to each other who share common goals.
When you have an abundant mindset, you have plenty more where that came from, so sharing isn’t a big deal at all.
Grateful people are always happy even when they have to face difficult circumstances.
Try to create “Win-Win” Situations.
A Positive Mindset creates “Win-Win” Situations as there is so much to go around.
A Scarcity Mindset believes that for every winner, there must be a loser.
The false belief that not everyone can win because there isn’t enough to go around.
When you create situations where everyone gets to shine and everyone gets to share, everyone wins.
There are no losers, only opportunities for growth.
Sharing A Gratitude Mindset – Look for Positives in Every Loss (The WIN comes after)
Sometimes life gives you a lemon.
Instead of having questions after questions about how unfair life is and bemoaning your fortunes look at the “luckier ones”; they are lucky because they have made sacrifices.
They might suffer some losses too, but they aren’t overwhelmed by the negatives but continue to strive to get better.
Reflect on those positives events.
You can read books on how people have overcome adversities in their lives.
It is good to keep in mind and have the awareness that at least something good came out of every challenging circumstance we encounter.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others – You will attract a Scarcity Mindset.
For the Scarcity Mindset, everything hinges on how you compare to others.
It is as if only your wellbeing and suffering matters.
With a gratitude mindset, you count your blessings, how much personal growth you have made this matter most in living out your own ideas in your day-to-day life.
Social media, Instagram, and even Tweets often highlight a reel of someone’s life, showing off all the good things glossed over and shiny.
Do you ask questions about the bad, the failures, and the mundane that are hidden from the scrutiny of prying eyes?
You will naturally feel ingratitude if you compare your life with others.
If you’re struggling with comparing yourself to others, cut back on Facebook and other forms of social media.
The strategy on social media only serves to make you feel worst off.
Besides who can live their life on Instagram? It’s not real, even the traffic can be bought.
Instead, focus on thinking about what you can do right now to improve your life.
When you believe and are grateful everything will flow into place.
- Believe you are worthy of happiness.
- Focus on what you have right now.
- End the cycle of learned helplessness.
- Purge jealousies.
- Respect the power of money.
- Study of wealth.
- Give your money away.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
Spend a bit of time each day being grateful for the moments that fill us with joy and lift our spirits.
- Record all the things that go well in your life.
- Things you are grateful for.
- Even if you can’t think of anything be thankful for your strong heart beating to keep you alive.
That little constant reminder of the good things that happen, done at the end of each day teaches us humility and gratitude.
We grow from Scarcity To Abundance with a Gratitude Mindset this way because our life is already full of good things.
When we have an abundance mindset, investing seems like we are giving a gift to our future self – and that feels good.
Remember, ours is full of wonderful things, places, and experiences more than you can ever explore, and each moment is something worth celebrating.
I celebrate my moments with my Bae. We want to live a purpose-driven life with our goals in line with our core values and beliefs.
If you’ve never written out your goals in the past, now is the time to do so – it allows you to materialize your genuine desires in front of your mind’s eye.
Final Word on Living a Life of Growth with A Gratitude Mindset
- Smile.
- Be thankful for what you have.
- Start your days right.
- Prepare yourself for opportunities.
- Make the most out of every opportunity.
- Build friendships along the way.
- Build upon what you’ve established.
Ultimately, remember when you move from Scarcity To Abundance with a Gratitude Mindset – what you believe is what you receive, and this is a brilliant strategy for happiness.
Doris Lim Writes Gratitude – Little Inspiration Blog Writes Gratitude Story To Inspire Women Watch Incredible Things Happen To Change People One Experience At A Time.
Are Our Relationships For a Reason Season Lifetime?
When we meet someone new, would they come in for a reason, season, lifetime?
A long time ago, someone said to me.
From strangers to friends to lovers—this is how love began.
People always come into our life all the time.
Just as quickly and quietly, some will leave like ships that pass in the night.
They come for a reason.
Sometimes for a season.
The best, they stay for a lifetime.
It is almost impossible to figure out which is what during the time we spend together.
How to Know If Our Relationships Last For a Reason Season Lifetime?
I feel that it is the energy that we exude that draws season people to us.
For many years, I am drawn to others.
Some are drawn to me.
I always believe that we recognize each other.
Are we soulmates?
Do we hold on to this false belief that our spiritual half has been determined even before we were born?
That each soul has a perfect match – our soulmate.
Our true spiritual soulmate is the one person who is here to help us “complete ourselves.”
If we buy the idea that God creates our half and not whole.
Do we believe that a person cannot complete his or her mission in life alone?
Or that everyone needs a special someone to help them become a better person?
Different people knock at our doors at other times in our lifetime.
Once we realize that they enter our lives to fulfill a need or a purpose—to teach us or learn from us; they stay for a reason, season, or a lifetime.
Although most people think of a soulmate as a perfectly harmonious union of bliss, our true spiritual soulmate is the person who should help us “complete ourselves.”
Jerry McGuire was right—soul mates complete each other.
This is not always a blissful experience.
Relationships For a Reason
Relationships can help us be better a person.
I have the energy to do things for others that I wouldn’t do for myself.
I have learned to be an encourager in recent years—not because I am so positive myself.
Or that I am a born motivator, but I mirror someone who does this effortlessly daily.
Often when someone is in our life for a REASON, this is because of a need we have expressed in our heart or vocalized.
When we figure out which it is, we know exactly what to do.
The people who drop in for a reason enter our world to fulfill a purpose—then we part ways.
A lot of times, we don’t even know the reason until after they leave.
Sometimes years later.
I met two women who encouraged me on my journey to write.
For one woman, I was her “Pet Project”—someone to fix.
I remember these years later with great humor, the reason we parted ways, I have long since forgotten.
I no longer remember.
For me, this was a life-transforming moment.
The intensity of the bond we shared was superficial and shallow.
However, the situation brought about changes in my aptitude, attitude, behavior, and lifestyle for good.
“Be with someone who wants to see you grow.” – Toni Payne
Relationships For a Season
All of us want to find our happily ever after.
We want to choose and attract healthy, happy, non-toxic dates, and relationships.
How long is a season? A year? A decade?
Like the seasons, there are four seasons to every relationship.
And just like the weather, all relationships go through several changes, shifts, and unique seasons.
All the phases work together to help stretch us and grow us.
Fulfilling relationships contain harmony and discord.
As we grow in a relationship, we embrace the changes and accept these for what they are.
We want to grow closer together, build on each other’s strengths rather than fall apart.
Spring of Relationships
The first season and the blossom of a new relationship are often the happiest and most harmonious.
Everything is new and exciting.
Have you met your lifetime friend?
We get to know each other, learn more about both ourselves and our partners during this time.
Spring is the time to delight in new experiences.
The first time we hold hands.
Our first kisses.
Meeting each other’s friends.
Traveling together for the first time.
We’re hungry for the other person during this spring season of a relationship.
More often than not, we are more willing to look past things we usually don’t find acceptable.
Summer of Relationships
We know the season as the “honeymoon period” when we put each other on the pedestal, and our partners could do no wrong during this rose-colored phase.
Just as the budding spring of a new romance, we like to keep the peace and the intimacy flowing.
We excuse little things that annoy us, making every event an opportunity to make happy memories that sustain us both through the hard times.
In our eagerness to fall in love, many of us play up when we found out the other person to be interesting and we are both interested in each other.
Autumn of Relationships
The autumn season signals a time of death but also a rebirth for our relationship.
Are the cracks beginning to show?
Your lifetime friend may not last a lifetime.
Do we see our partner’s flaws and faults and point these out?
There could be complex emotions surfacing, from either running into a former partner to spending time with an elderly parent.
The nagging starts. The bickering and fighting begin – these lead to judgment, arguments, withholding love, and giving the cold shoulders.
It’s the first warning horn of the next season—winter.
Winter of Relationships
Don’t be afraid of winter.
Winter is the season when we let go of perfection’s ideals and reveal the depth of our feelings and emotions with our partners.
If you are prepared, winter can be a time of authenticity, bonding, and transformative growth with your lifetime friend.
Those who find it hard to let go of the need to see our partners only in the best light.
We might explode, lashing out, mudslinging, belittling as being perfect is unrealistic and not achievable.
Relationship For a Lifetime
Lifetime people stay.
The most romantic quote from the film Jerry McGuire was the words that melt our hearts.
It wasn’t the cliché,
“I Love You.”
But it was one that spells soulmate and a relationship that would last a lifetime.
“You Complete Me.”
When Jerry confessed his love for Dorothy for romantics, we think we will never be happy, complete, or whole until we find our soulmate.
When the lights go up, the credits roll, we fall with a thud into the actual world—searching for our soulmates.
Would we recognize each other?
Will we know the answer?
It goes beyond meeting our true friends.
Do we even live in the same city, zip code, or so far across the world—that our days and nights are opposites.
At the beginning of any relationship, we won’t think it will last a lifetime.
Years later, real-life puts everything into perspective.
I hate to live with regret.
I want to live with happiness.
Are you like me?
The eternal optimist only wants to believe that relationship is going to be everlasting for a lifetime.
For instance, sometimes we meet someone we fall in love with.
This person is happy, full of life, and live with a zest-free-spirited person who trusts God completely.
We worry a lot or may feel anxious.
So, we also learn to become free like them and have more fun with life.
Lifetime relationships are an integral part of our lives as they are with us for a long time.
Often these are family relationships or long-term relations that accept and love us unconditionally.
Our parents are with us for decades and are there with us in our thick and thin times.
We learn to accept the lesson and apply it to our life.
Parents, siblings, lifelong friends, help develop a reliable support system and contribute to who we are as a person.
Why Are They Here For a Reason Season Lifetime?
Our partners come to us to fulfill a need, teach a lesson, or help us to apply those lessons in our lives.
Our job is to accept the lessons and be grateful to the person who blesses us with this learning gift.
Whether they are there for a reason, season, or a lifetime, we must realize one thing – their role in our lives is indispensable.
We must value their presence as they are God sent.
Sometimes They Leave…
When they leave, we need to see separation positively rather than perceiving it as a tragic event.
Sometimes I wrestle with the thought of how our friends leave.
I have had friends who leave suddenly.
I never saw them alive again.
Sometimes I find out years later. Sometimes not at all.
Is it better that we saw no one grow old sick and leave?
How we respond to the separation makes us grow mentally, emotionally, and physically.
This poem inspired me “Reason, Season, or Lifetime” which teaches us about accepting the impermanence of relationships and recognizing the lessons that affect our lives.
Sometimes, they appear to teach us a valuable lesson.
Maybe they too drop by to learn from us.
Reason Season Lifetime Poem
People come into our life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When we figure out which it is, we know exactly what to do especially in family relationships.
When someone is in our life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need we have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They assist us through difficulty, provide us with guidance and support, and aid us physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for a reason.
We need them to be.
Then, with no wrongdoing on our part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up or out and force us to take a stand.
We realize that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, and their work is done.
The prayer we sent up has been answered, and it is now time to move on.
When people come into our life for a SEASON, our turn shares grows or learns.
They may bring us an experience of peace or make us laugh. They may teach us something we have never done.
They usually give us an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach our lifetime lessons; those things we must build upon to have a solid emotional foundation.
Our job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway), and put what we have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of our life.
It is said that LOVE is blind, but FRIENDSHIP is clairvoyant.
— Traci Smith
Reason Season Lifetime Summary
What is the meaning of relationships for a reason, season, or lifetime?
People come into our lives for a Reason, Season, or Lifetime.
Some people come into our lives for a reason.
Like our Godsent guide, they help us physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
Their presence completely transforms our lives.
They might be there to fulfill our needs or offer us something new to learn.
They can open an all-new doorway in our life—things we may have never discovered by ourselves.
Once the purpose for which they came into our life is served – they leave.
They may no longer feel connected to us anymore and leave us.
Sometimes they die.
No one lives forever.
The end of this relationship might leave us too devastated to mourn.
However, once we can see the truth, we can let it go quickly.
I have many people who enter my life to make me realize my strengths.
They see my potential and show me possibilities.
I have changed my career path just because someone helped me recognize my gift.
Some are there to journey along and share and celebrate my life with me in all my moments.
They entered my life for a particular season and helped us do something we have never done or taken me to a place I have never been to before.
They inspire us and aid us in realizing our true potential.
It is during these times, we learn, grow, and expand further.
Such people are also there for a limited period.
They also come and go, just like a season.
Once a season gets over, it’s time for them to take off.
Our job is to learn from our experience with them and be grateful for what they taught us.
The Giraffe Story – Real or Otherwise
A long time ago, in a continent called Africa, my dear friends, giraffes had very short necks.
(The giraffe is an African artiodactyl mammal. The tallest living terrestrial animal and the largest ruminant.)
For this reason, its neck has grown longer and longer.
The Giraffe Story Centered On How The Creatures Got Long Neck (a myth or story)
A long time ago, in a continent called Africa, giraffes had very short necks.
Their necks are about an inch shorter than an average human’s neck, to be precise.
All the giraffes thought this was normal – at that time.
But here is the story about how giraffes have long necks.
It was a hot summer’s day. (Africa’s weather is all year summer, I didn’t write this, okay?)
All the giraffe families came together to have a picnic.
All the little giraffes were playing games, and the mothers and fathers were talking.
A few young giraffes, George and his cousins Gina and Grace, were playing with a ball.
They were passing it by bouncing it on their heads.
There was a naughty little giraffe named Giovanni.
Why Giovanni, you ask.
Aren’t we in Africa?
Why not some story about Penguins or Dinosaurs since you’re going on about Creator Club here?
Yes, but of course, Pepé.
Giovanni is a meaningful name.
Giovanni means God Is Gracious.
Giovanni liked to get George and other little giraffes into trouble.
After a while, George, Grace, and Gina were tired and thirsty, so they rested.
Giovanni snuck up on the trio and yelled, “Nah, Nah, you don’t have a ball!”
“What do you mean?” Gina said.
Giovanni pointed to a nearby tree, with the ball stuck between two top branches.
“Oh, no!” George cried, looking at the ball high in the tree.
George had an idea and approached Gina.
“How about you carry me so I can get the ball?” George said to Gina
“Ok,” she replied.
Grace just stood and watched.
The ball was still too high even when Gina carried George.
Then George called Grace to come and help.
The next thing you know, Gina was carrying Grace, and Grace was taking George.
It was the funniest sight ever!
Finally, George could almost reach the ball BUT, then Gina lost her balance and fell over.
So did Grace.
The only little giraffe that didn’t fall was George.
This was because his neck got stuck between the two branches that it held the ball in.
Luckily, the ball fell off the tree, but George got stuck!
” Ouch!” George thought.
Gina and Grace went to get some help.
They gathered all the giraffes around that tree.
Every single giraffe was pulling on one of George’s legs.
Poor George was being pulled so much!
The entire family of giraffes was pulling and pulling and pulling!
While they were pulling, something very odd was happening.
George’s neck was getting longer and longer and longer.
Finally, after a few hours of pulling, George’s head slipped through the branches.
All the giraffes looked at his odd-looking neck.
George’s NEW Neck Was Making Headlines As the Giraffe Story
- He could eat leaves off of a tree without jumping for them.
- He loved the view of Africa from up there.
- All the giraffes saw how George’s neck came in handy.
So all the giraffes took turns to go up that tree to get their necks pulled.
Soon enough, all the giraffes had longer necks than ever.
So when you giraffes with long necks and wondered – That is the Giraffe Story and how they got long necks.
Giraffe woman – the beauty of a woman lies in the length of her neck!
For the Pandung tribe in Burma, having a long neck makes women more beautiful and be physically attractive.
“Padaung,” in the Shan language, means “long neck.”
The Padaung tribe, a subgroup of the Karenni, Burma (Myanmar), is where you will find women moving around with heavy brass and gold alloy coils on their necks to extend it.
The tribeswomen wear the coils as early as five years old, and as they get older, they add up more coils to their necks.
Culturally, For women, having a long neck is the symbol of wealth, position, and beauty.
Apart from being a beauty tradition, it is also said that many myths or histories lie behind the long-neck custom.
Sydney V. Smith the Giraffe Woman
IN the USA, a woman ‘obsessed’ with giraffes has given up on her dream of stretching her neck after spending five years wearing a stack of painful, heavy metal rings.
At its heaviest, they made the stack up of 15 rings and weighed an incredible 5lbs.
Sydney Smith, 30, from Los Angeles, California, who calls herself ‘the giraffe woman,’ wanted to be known worldwide for her long neck.
Sydney has now given up on her quest, admitting her life had become ruled by the rings.
She couldn’t function properly as a long neck woman with fifteen rings around her neck in the U.S.A.
It was a feat that made her an introvert, and she began isolating herself.
Soon she felt like the rings were taking over her life in every way.
‘Unless you will isolate yourself completely and you’re a trust fund baby and don’t even need to leave the house, never need to drive, then maybe you can pull it off.
When Sydney took the necklace off, she had severe bruising around her collarbone and said her’ neck felt very weak, kind of like arms on a toothpick.
Conversations with a Giraffe Woman
“Allow me to order for us,” that perfectly manicured hand circles my arm with her fire-engine red talons. I grimaced.
A little too intimate, I complain to Pepé LAH Pew.
“You’ve got to meet your HOT client next time and not send me.”
This one turns out to be a model turn extra-on-TV turn advertising woman of certain clout: too many turns, my head’s spinning.
She calls her appearance– ca ameo. I nearly choke on my Earl Grey.
A cameo is a brief appearance of a known person in performing arts, such as pin lays or films, appearing as themselves. Think of Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock.
We are having high tea. And what could be more British than scones?
Ma’ dam’s treat happens at a mock Tudor restaurant in Bangsar. The one that serves delicious buttery scones, freshly made when you lock in order and bake them in a hot oven.
I have evil thoughts. How do you stuff a Ma’ dam into an oven? Take the elephants out first, of course!
“Nothing quite hits you like the smell of freshly baked scones; it fills the entire restaurant,” she roars for all to hear.
How does one develop a clipped English accent without actually setting foot on Her Majesty’s soil?
“It sets tummy growling; this scent just grows on you,” Ma’ dam says charmingly.
Sssssss said the snake in the grass: Sure, honey, come on closer.
It’s that heady light-headed sensation. I was feeling faint, too much sun.
Walking the site with Ma’ dam without breakfast and lunch, save for a small bottle of imported mineral water, plays havoc with my mind.
When hungry with low blood sugar, I feel challenged in polite company.
She says the best water comes from France. Bah!
Ma’ dam rattled on about the scones she makes.
Rose Petal Scones,salls them lovingly, like her little “children.”
More patting with that cold, smooth hand again.
This time on my knee.
“It’s just tweaking the recipe a little with the right ingredients that give you such wonderful results,” Ma’ dam gushes.
“But, I’ll indulge you and tell you my secrets,” she winks and leans over to whisper in that raspy little girl’s voice.
I stiffened and plastered a fake smile on my face to stop myself from puking.
Everything sounds wrong!
“It’s rose water and dried rose petals and,” she paused for dramatic effect, “fresh lemonade and cream.”
“Err, doesn’t lemon, which is acidic, curdle the cream?” I ask, a little surprised.
I did, after all, study some science subjects. Domestic science counts,too, surely.
Ma’ dam replies, angry in her posh English accent.
“I know a fair bit about British food!” she holds herself in very high regard to everything English.
This girl remembers the scones she loves, the ones that turn out fluffy, almost a delicious melt-in-the-mouth biscuit that her Godmother has been making for decades.
These scones are giraffe-high, almost voluptuous looking.
Godmother bakes them in the hottest part of her oven, placing them quite close together when they rise rapidly. The scones mesh up into each other like mini flower buns.
However, back to Pepé LAH Pew’s HOT client.
Ma’ dam changes architects mid-stream.
She found a HOTTER female Interior Designer more talented and with strong inclinations to design state-of-the-art ovens!
And the kitchen too, of course.
This leaves us with The Giraffe Test: Are You Qualified to be a “Professional?”
(something that conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.)
Which Pepé LAH Pew insists I take off the Internet.
#1 How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
This question tests whether you do simple things in an overly complicated way.
#2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, “Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?” (Wrong Answer)
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant, and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
#3 The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is still in the refrigerator. You just put him in there.
This tests your memory.
OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities; as a design professional.
#4 There is a river you must cross, but crocodiles inhabit it. How do you manage it without a boat?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.
Bah! And double Bah! I feel like a lamb (or was that giraffe – no he’s in the refrigerator) lead to the slaughter. Again!
Source:
The Story of Pig: Hero, Trickster, Legend
When I started blogging, I wanted to blog about PIG.
The entire PIG if I could.
I started with PIG ears, worked the stories to PIG leg but somehow stopped at PIG fat – that was a home run.
Eight years later (was a dark and stormy night of 2012 – nothing happened, don’t worry)
1 Pig ears have it…
A quick tug of my earlobe is sufficient to tell the young woman at the Lor Bak pushcart that I wanted braised pig ears.
I know that this sounds disgusting and repulsive to most people who were never poor nor exposed to this type of food from a young.
Pig’s ears are floppy, fleshy nasty bits in one versatile package of meat, skin, and cartilage.
The cartilage’s texture is like a sheet of al dente lasagna encased between meat and rubbery skin.
For the romantic at heart, sorry, it is not an aphrodisiac food said to affect the libido.
The slow stewing and braising make it extremely palatable when eaten with spicy, sharp, garlicky chili dip.
Who would eat this, you ask?
Well, older folks who have acquired a taste for bland, chewy food for one.
Or if you’re out to thaw the advances of an enamored girl (whatever her age!) – this is definitely on the top list of things to chew on (pun intended)
2 The Story of Pig with a Wooden Leg
Farmer Jones got out of his car and noticed a PIG with a wooden leg while heading for his friend’s door.
His curiosity aroused, he asked, “Fred, how’d that PIG get him a wooden leg?”
“Well, Michael, that’s a mighty special PIG!
A while back, a wild bear attacked me while I was walking in the woods.
That PIG there came a running’, went after that bear, and chased him away. It saved my life!”
“And the bear tore up his leg?”
“No, he was fine after that.
But a bit later, we had that fire.
It started in the shed up against the barn.
Well, that ole PIG started squealing’ like he was stuck, woke us up, and ‘fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved ’em all!”
“So that’s when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?”
“No, Michael.
He was a might winded, though.
When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond, I was knocked cleanout.
When I came to, PIG had dove into the pond and dragged me out ‘fore I drowned.
Sure did save my life.”
“And that was when he hurt his leg?”
“Oh no, he was fine.
Cleaned him up, too.”
“OK, Fred. So tell me. How did he get the wooden leg?”
“Well,” the farmer tells him, “A PIG like that, you don’t want to eat all at once!”
3 The Story of Pig – Source Unknown
A very long time ago, when the earth was still new, and the Father walked among the animals, teaching them the wisdom they would later explain to humans.
He gave each animal a gift.
He called them all together in the Garden, and to some, he gave the gift of beauty, the gift of swiftness, to some the gift of strength, and so on.
Each animal had received a gift from the Father.
But the PIG was not there.
PIG was out looking for tasty roots and did not come to the Garden until the Father was giving the last animal its gift.
Pig cried
The PIG cried because the Father had already given out His gifts.
The Father saw PIG crying and asked what was wrong.
PIG said, “I was late, and now you have given away all your gifts.
I will have nothing to teach the humans.”
The Father gently took the PIG into His lap, rubbed his ample belly, kissed his wet snout, and told him not to cry.
He said, “I have saved the best gift for you, PIG.”
PIG said, “But I am not beautiful, or strong, or swift, I will be despised by humans.”
The Father thought for a moment on how to explain to PIG how great his gift was.
Finally, after a while.
He said, “PIG, you have all of those gifts and something more within you, but because they are within you, it will take an extraordinary person who is seeking greater wisdom to find them.”
PIG did not understand, but PIG trusted the Father and went back to digging for roots.
Humans met pig
Humans came to the Garden and found all the beautiful animals with their gifts.
But humans didn’t care for the PIG.
He was not fair or fleet or strong, and the humans shunned PIG.
No one wanted to be around him.
The humans preferred the other animals who preened and showed off their gifts.
Then after a while, one woman came to PIG and sat down where the PIG was eating.
What can this be? Why a PIG, of course!
It was the first time that a human had come to be with PIG.
So he stopped eating and looked at her curiously.
She looked deep into his eyes and saw the gift that the Father had hidden so well.
And she loved PIG for who he was and respected PIG for the beautiful gift the Father had given him to share with humans.
Pig’s Gift
I can’t put into words what the gift was that the Father gave to PIG.
You have to look into the eyes of PIG and find it for yourself.
For each human, it will be different. It will be the gift they need to see to help in their search for wisdom.
Not many humans will discover the gift PIG has to offer.
They will be too dazzled by the gifts the Father gave to the other animals.
But for those that do, they are forever changed and never see the world in quite the same way.
They are the ones that root like PIG through what is on top to find treasures and gifts hidden below the surface.
4 Rhapsody on a Pig
“To begin with, PIGS are very beautiful animals.
Those who think otherwise are those who do not look at anything with their own eyes, but only through other people’s eyeglasses.
The actual lines of a PIG (I mean of an obese PIG) are among the loveliest and most luxuriant; the PIG has the same great curves, swift and yet heavy, which we see in the rushing water or the rolling cloud.”
GK Chesterton liked PIGS. This is from “Rhapsody on a PIG,” published in The Illustrated London News, 8 May 1909.
Source:
A Certain Sleepy Perfection of Contour
The Story of Salt & Other Gratitude Stories
I have been thinking about the story of salt and other stories I have encountered.
There are hundreds of varieties of salt worldwide to satisfy those curious about this vital ingredient.
Salt and gratitude are essential for human life; we can taste the saltiness. Gratitude is heartfelt and changes lives.
Salt is essential, although harmful when consumed in large quantities. It is the only mineral that humans consume as nourishment.
Salt is an ingredient that enhances the flavor of food and even desserts.
If you love salt like me, you will know that salt is used extensively in areas other than food.
From legends and religions to migrations and wars has been used for centuries – Salt is a precious and rare ingredient.
Even more so, is Gratitude.
A grain of salt can change the flavor, so does heartfelt gratitude.
The cure for anything is saltwater – sweat, tears, or the sea. ~ Isak Dinesen
Other Gratitude Stories
When I started writing, I recall that the stories of salt are actually stories of gratitude, and this has become my Gratitude Journal.
The Story of Salt – Carrot Cake with Salt Cream Cheese Frosting
The first time Ben bought something from his home to the office – we were surprised.
IMPRESSED.
Pat nudged me and whispered loudly, “He bakes!!!”
“Of course. Baking is just science,” I said.
UNIMPRESSED.
“But it’s carrot cake.”
“Which tasted like wilted strands of coconut.”
“But you like coconut.”
“I like coconut water.”
“But there’s Cream Cheese Frosting.”
“I prefer shaved Parmesan cheese onto pasta and risotto, meatballs, and Caesar salad.”
“Why don’t you like him?”
“Why do you like him.”
Pat shrugged and went to chat Ben up.
She couldn’t understand why I was so unimpressed.
I didn’t tell her that I also baked.
Baking is just science.
Measure the dry ingredients accurately.
Follow the instructions to the tee.
What could go wrong?
Ben forgot that grain of salt in the cream cheese frosting.
He said he created the recipe himself.
There was no gratitude in any way, shape, or form shown.
But that is just Ben.
The Story of Salt – What could go wrong?
Using salt instead of sugar is one.
One day I helped Geri baked. Of course, it had to be coincidentally a Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting.
It was for her 21st birthday.
I have two BIG weaknesses when it comes to baking.
Hard to count this as TWO – it feels like a few hundred.
- She can’t measure accurately.
- She has a nasty habit of opening the oven to peek at the cake.
So, I was tasked with whipping the cream cheese for the frosting.
I put in salt instead of sugar.
Geri never spoke to me again.
“And every offering of your grain offering you shall season with salt; you shall not allow the salt of your God’s covenant to be lacking from your grain offering. With all your offerings, you shall offer salt.” Leviticus 2:13
The Story of Salt – Curry Noodles with Sugar Broth.
I used to eat at the same noodle shop every day for almost a year.
I love the convenience, and I’m boring when it comes to food.
There’s no hard and fast rule about eating.
At the Noodle Shop, the rules are simple.
Mr. Goh makes the Curry Noodles.
Mrs. Goh makes the Poached Chicken.
The rest of us (read customers) eat, pay, and come back every day.
It was a sure-fire way for a successful Chinese business.
The Chinese are simple, straightforward people.
My biggest Chinese trait?
I like to do business, and I’m not too fond of gossip and small talk.
Neysa told me that the owner of the shop she goes to for meals makes too many comments.
The woman owner commented on her dress.
She commented on her friends.
The owner woman commented when Neysa’s friends paid for her food.
The solution: Just eat at a Chinese-operated eating shop.
You come in.
They nod.
You nod.
They bring the food out.
Hot, consistently good.
You eat.
You pay.
You come back tomorrow.
Repeat.
No other suggestion is needed.
No warmth.
No apathy.
The Story of Salt – Chinese Businesses
I told Neysa that I ate at Mr. and Mrs. Goh’s restaurant/café/Kopitiam/canteen every day for two meals for the year I worked next door.
You got to eat at a Chinese operated business.
No one makes any suggestions or comments.
It’s just like that.
That’s the way it goes.
Until one morning at breakfast.
I looked at Mr. Goh, yawning like a Hippopotamus in his corner.
“Why did you make a syrup soup for the Curry Noodles? What’s wrong with you?”
“No, what’s wrong with YOU, Aunty?”
I pursed my lips.
I collected all the half and empty soya sauce containers from all the tables in his restaurant/café/Kopitiam/canteen.
I plopped that on the counter where Mr. Goh serves his Curry Noodles.
“Twenty bowls and my regulars didn’t say a WORD.”
“Well, Mr. Goh, you run a Chinese-operated restaurant/café/Kopitiam/canteen.
The customers eat quietly, pay, and leave clues for you.”
“I overslept. I must have put sugar instead of Salt in the Curry Broth.”
No suspicious explanations either.
Needless to say no sense of gratitude from Mr. Goh.
Perhaps his customers deliberated not to tell anything rather than face a resolution of conflicting emotions.
The Story of Salt – I didn’t marry for the disparity.
Budi, my friend’s Indonesian maid, is 4′ -10″.
Her lack of height has always impacted her outlook toward gratitude.
One day, she said, “I show a family photo. Sisters”
There was a photo with that unmistakable grin.
She was standing next to two younger women.
Both women reached her shoulder.
Budi looked like a giant.
“You are Giant (Raksasa).”
“Me, no big. They are very small.”
Budi found work in Medan, at the bustling wet market.
She met her husband Mas, a lorry driver there.
They dated and decided to marry.
Both have a balanced outlook when it comes to marriage.
Budi said simply, “he is a man, hard-working, have a job.”
The Story of Salt and Black Tea
Budi journeyed to her husband’s home in West Java’s hills – home of the tea plantations.
The actual reality of the much-loved brew, the Tea that is produced comes at a high cost to the tea farmers – unfair wages, malnutrition, and high maternal mortality.
At home, plantation workers often drink salted black tea, like we would a cup of coffee.
In the 19th century, colonizers would give laborers salted black tea to help replace the essential salts lost through dehydration.
A cup of salted black tea is what many tea plantation families drink for energy.
Something they have been doing for generations to counter symptoms of low
- blood sodium
- weakness
- fatigue or low-energy
- headache
- nausea
- vomiting
- muscle cramps or spasms
- confusion
- irritability
Each generation born on the plantations produces the next batch of laborers; drinking salted tea has become a daily habit.
Family members who don’t work in the fields also drink copious hot cups of salted tea.
The entire family were farmers and eked out a living planting tea leaves.
The smallholders in West Java and West Sumatra have small plots of land—infertile ground located in remote locations.
- Faced with so many limitations, the generation of farmers continues to live in harsh conditions.
- The farmers find it hard to improve their livelihoods, productivity, and limited access to international markets.
- Limited technical knowledge
- Poor farming practices
- No logistics of getting leaf to factories in good time and condition
- Lack of working capital (e.g., fertilizers, new tea bushes)
The Story of Salt and Gratitude – Budi
Budi recounted her wedding.
She was shocked that they had so little.
They had a gruel made from corn with bitter tea berries and fried shaved coconut with salt for the wedding feast.
The star dish was RICE!
The farmers were so poor that they could not afford to buy rice and salt.
They could grow some corn for their daily sustenance.
When they have enough money, they will travel to town to buy rice and salt.
Budi continued planning for her trip home as she cooked lunch.
“I buy rice, many packets. Pay motor (motorcycle rider) driver to send to family.”
“Buy salt, salted fish, oil.”
“I give something good for food.”
She grinned at the happy memory in the midst of challenging times.
I shared in Budi’s enthusiastic holiday feelings.
I reached for the salt container.
She held it up and stared at the white grains of salt.
I put it back and handed Budi the Soya Sauce.
“Use this.”
Black Dog Story – Lessons For My Faint Heart
I’ve had many encounters with Black Dog.
Sometimes I think it’s the same Black Dog, which appears at different times in my life – there are various lessons to learn here.
Black Dog: Being A Teacher
It’s a bit like Go Ha-neul, who faces many struggles as she becomes a temporary teacher for the first time.
I became a teacher to many inspiring stories of hope.
Like Go Ha-neul, after a teacher saved me and schooled me, I decided to become a teacher.
It is years later.
Many, many years later, after I met Him.
Through my struggles, I grew as a teacher and as a person.
Black Dog: Can Dogs See Ghosts?
As children, we were all spooked with tales of ghosts and the supernatural.
While there are people who believe in the paranormal – most people believe in God.
When your dog sometimes seems to be barking into the night and retreating, there could be something he sees – and you don’t.
Do certain times of the year seem to make them nervous?
The truth is dogs can see or sense something people can’t.
My mom used to tell us children about some connection between dogs and ghosts — and dogs’ mystifying behavior.
If a dog dabbed on your eyelids (not eyes), the tear stains would allow you to see into the spirit world during the Chinese 7th month.
It used to freak the children out, and we would all scream when she told us our favorite ghost story.
The ghost story happened in her hometown in Taiping, Perak.
A man did that and stood at a crossroads in the middle of the night.
He stood with his legs apart to form a V.
He dabbed dogs’ tears on his eyelids and bent over to look backward between his legs.
And The children gasped!
He saw ghosts.
Millions of ghosts.
When I think back, it was quite funny to believe that the man could carry Black Dog tears in a container in his pocket!
Black Dog: Barking!
I remember Ah Hin, a construction supervisor.
When I was in my 20s, I was in charge of a project in an affluent area.
It was quiet and near a park.
There was a handsome stray Black Dog without a collar who lived in the area.
He would bark at me as all dogs do.
He didn’t chase or growl.
He just stood his ground and barked very loudly.
I wasn’t frightened but rather amused.
I was silly because I told Ah Hin about it.
It was one of the meaningless one-liner openings that I sometimes say.
“The Black Dog likes to bark at me.”
I smiled and shrugged.
Ah Hin: He chases you?
Me: No.
Ah Hin: He growled?
Me: No.
Ah, Hin: What he do?
Me: Bark loudly. Some people talk loudly too. It doesn’t matter.
Ah Hin: I will take care of him, Miss Doris.
My mistake.
I didn’t know what to take care of him meant.
In subsequent weeks, the neighborhood was quiet.
I would park my car in the same spot.
Territorial Bad Boy – Black Dog was nowhere to be seen.
I remember asking Ah Hin.
Me: Where is my Black Dog? I miss his barking.
Ah Hin: He was gone.
Me: Gone?
Ah Hin: Gone. I gave him a BBQ Pork Bun.
Me: You feed him? Does he like BBQ Pork Buns?
Ah Hin: Yes, I put a box of needles into the buns.
I saw Ah Hin gloating and expecting praise from me.
I remember sitting in the container office.
My eyes welled with tears.
I burst out crying.
Me: Black Dog didn’t do anything. Why did you do that, Ah Hin?
Ah Hin: So he doesn’t bite you, Miss Doris.
Me: Please leave. Please don’t speak to me again. Please leave.
I was filled with anguish and took a long time to forgive myself.
Not everyone who wants to protect me is an angel.
Until today – I can not understand why people would hurt animals this way.
But they still do.
Black Dog: Guard Dog
When I used to visit Dee, I would enter their house from the side gate.
The family opens it in a certain way.
One afternoon, I dropped by. I say Black Dog’s water dish was leaning against the wall.
I thought to myself.
“He’s run away again to the forest where the family found him.”
Black Dog likes to do this.
He disappears once in a while.
Dee: You know, he thinks he is Indiana Jones looking for the Ark of the Covenant.
Me: You just like the actor Harrison Ford.
So I entered the house, a year since I played with Black Dog.
The gate squeaked sharply.
I made my way up the metal ramp.
Overhead I hear the ringing noise of metal windows opening rapidly.
I froze.
I could see Black Dog race with all its limbs in the air towards me.
Not a single bark.
I knew he would attack.
I Dropped my hands.
Black Dog stopped a good six feet away, tail wagging happily.
He remembered my scent.
He kissed my hands and waited to be petted.
In the house, I heard loud running down the stairs.
The door flew open.
Dee and her family gasped.
His brother said, “We thought he would have ripped you like the monitor lizard that crawled in one night.”
I laughed.
I bend down.
Black Dog sneezed.
I patted him more.
I smiled at the family.
Black Dog remembers who loves him when he’s a puppy. That’s all.
Black Dog: Mama Dog and Pups
When it comes to Mama Dog and newborn pups, the best advice is to stay away.
I used to work around Beach Street, George Town.
I would have lunch at Ann’s Economy Rice Stall, which she shared with Ah Seng, who sells drinks.
Every lunchtime, I would run down the back staircase of the Behn Meyer building to lunch, a few steps away.
That day I was in another building.
I decided to take a shortcut through an alley.
On my first and last shortcut.
I can attest that I still walk down allies in different parts of the world.
Dogs display aggression for several reasons, such as
- fear
- overwhelm
- pain
- anticipated pain
- overstimulation
- resource guarding
- territoriality
No matter the reason – bared teeth are a sign of a dog becoming aggressive.
These three adult dogs are past their comfort zone.
Halfway down the alley, I remembered that Black Dog Mama was nowhere to be seen.
She was heavily pregnant a few weeks ago.
Suddenly Papa Dog and two other dogs stood at my sides, growling.
Papa Dog had his face at my abdomen, his two budding growlings loudly at my sides.
There was no way I could leave the dogs alone.
All three stood on their hind legs, and their paws rested heavily on my thighs and abdomen.
My hands at my sides.
My head was reeling.
With a push by all three, I would have fallen backward.
I looked into Papa Dog’s eyes.
I know I’m supposed to avoid eye contact. If possible, carefully step away from the dog.
Papa Dog’s face softened.
His mouth relaxed, and his ears sat flatter against his head. He averted his gaze and stepped away with his companions.
I stood in a daze.
I turned to look at Mama Black Dog and the pups. They curled up suckling, and she was asleep from the exhaustion of birth.
I must have caused them so much stress and anxiety just walking by.
The dogs were possibly grinning because they were stressed. I wasn’t afraid, so they didn’t feel threatened enough to get defensively aggressive.
Inspiration: 5 Heartwarming Stories That Prove Dog Is Man’s Best Friend
Bread Stories – Breaking of Bread
I prefer bread stories over rice or noodles stories.
A fact that doesn’t go down well with my Chinese Mother, who will tell anyone and everyone that she hasn’t eaten – if she doesn’t eat rice.
It was a problem for all and sundry.
“You haven’t fed your Mother? How mean!”
“Please, you must give her food to eat.”
“She is old; you can’t starve her!”
“What you are doing is just WRONG!!!”
There were other neighbors who, shall we say, more eloquent in their expressions and expletives!
Mimmi told me that as we lugged in a gunny sack of durians to her Mother’s kitchen.
Mimmi’s Mother looked up and said,
“I haven’t eaten rice today.”
I spied the remnants of kuih (Malay cakes), biscuits, and noodles on bowls and plates left in the tiled sink.
There were plastic and newspaper wrappers stuffed in the recycled kerosene pail “dustbin.”
Mimmi gestured with her chin.
“Dory, you scoop out the rice from the rice cooker. Loosen it with chopsticks first. Yes, the black ones.”
“Well, I haven’t eaten a grain of rice today, you know, Ah Girl?”
Mimmi’s Mother complained to me bitterly.
I nodded.
The pungent durian scent was overpowering.
I squeezed the thick coconut milk from a muslin bag, sieve it, and put in a pinch of salt to taste.
Mimmi nodded from across the kitchen table.
Her arms twisted, and gloved hands pried open the durians.
“It’s surely easier if she just uses an ax,” I thought to myself.
In the background, the rant goes on.
I haven’t eaten a grain of rice today. I haven’t been fed a single grain of rice today. I haven’t eaten a grain of rice today.
This takes us to the importance of rice and not Bread in the Asian diet.
Why is Bread vital?
For me, growing up, I remember my mom taking me to buy Bengali bread.
Nothing beats the unmistakable whiff of freshly baked Roti Bengali.
There is something unmistakably comforting about Bread.
The crackling sounds came from cooling loaves, and the warmth of its wholesome goodness imprinted in my memory.
I remember going to the back of the bakery to watch the big Bengali bakers kneading the dough by hand.
I could see the hard work and the uncles drenched in sweat – the wood-fired ovens heated the air.
My favorites were the soft coconut and sweet buns.
We bought loaves of Roti Bengali bread at home.
The thick brown crust and fluffiness of thick slices were chewy.
Growing up, I would have the buns for breakfast – this time, I bought from the ‘roti man’ on their bicycles.
The Roti Man (The Bread Man)
I remember my Roti Man with fondness. He left his bride in India and started to sell Bread in my neighborhood.
When he came, he couldn’t speak Malay nor any of the Chinese dialects.
He would ride his big black bicycle with a wooden and glass cupboard attached, stacked high with loaves.
Later he added more items to the staple of Roti Bengali bread, cream buns, butter cakes, and dangling bunches of snacks.
As Malaysians, we all have a soft spot in our hearts for the trusty roti man and on his bike.
Bengali bread is never eaten on its own.
Malaysian love to eat it toasted and spread with butter, kaya, sambal, honey, or dipped in soups and curry.
I don’t remember the Ane (Tamil for Uncle) ever falling sick or not showing up.
He only goes on extended leave every year to India to see his wife and family.
What is more astounding than Sliced White Bread?
There are few attitudes more incredulously packaged than pre-sliced White Bread.
I live dangerously. I take sliced white bread with butter – Doris Lim
I used to work for a man whose wife had so many opinions about everything.
She knows many things I don’t.
A lot of people also know more than I do. But she makes a sore point of pointing that out.
One day, I was eating my folded sliced white Bread (nothing inside – no one knows)
She scolded me.
Then she began the monologue, the dangers of White Bread.
How unhealthy it was.
That I could kill myself eating it.
I smile.
That was when I said, “I live dangerously. I take sliced white Bread with butter.”
To this day, she would wonder if I’m still alive – eating horrible, terribly wrong, and disgusting white Bread.
To this day, I smile at breakfast.
I can afford butter now.
I smile when I remember her. I wish her quiet Wisdom.
IGNORANCE shouts.
Hope is quiet too.
We look to live a happy life by being happy.
The Breaking of Bread (Acts 2-40-47)
The Breaking of Bread refers to the fact that the early church was a. communal church; they gathered together often, even daily.
We are told they ate their Bread with generosity and simplicity; they shared in.
Meals together, they were like a family as we saw and talked about.
Inspirational Source: Bread Stories – How Bread is Interwoven with our Lives
A Day Worth of Eggs – Story for Life
Let me start with a day’s worth of eggs – the basic building block of life.
What is the Worth of Eggs in a Swanky Cafe?
I have listened to many conversations and often wonder how eggs are always traded up.
Cafe owners planning menus often want to sell two eggs at the highest price possible.
Nothing screams brunch like a hollandaise-drenched poached Eggs Benedict – an open-faced sandwich of two halves of an English muffin.
Each is topped with a poached egg, hollandaise sauce, and bacon.
You want to go to New York, the origins of Eggs Benedict, where the food is worth the wait.
Is Worth of Eggs Lesser to Raise a Child?
I once met a woman who sponsored a meal every day for needy students. She told me, “For the price of eggs and some rice, you can raise a child.”
Some students are so weak that it was the old meal they got each day.
What is the Worth of Eggs for a Birthday?
Chinese red eggs are bright pink colored cooked chicken eggs.
These longevity noodles are what mothers make for their children’s birthdays.
The eggs are first hard-boiled.
In the old days, wet red calligraphy paper was wiped over the eggs to create pink coloring.
In Chinese culture, it is common to hold a red egg and ginger party at the baby’s first birthday.
This story was very close to my heart!
One day, Victor took his students out on a field trip.
A quiet boy from the class kept pestering Victor and the bus driver.
The Boy wanted the bus to detour to a small town that was off their route.
Victor decided to go along with the plan.
When the bus reached the little town, an old lady was standing in the middle of the street.
The Boy said, “It’s my Grandmother.”
The old lady boarded the bus with a basket full of red-dyed eggs.
One for each child.
She had collected the eggs from her chicken and borrowed the rest from neighbors.
She made 30 eggs, 28 for the students and one for the Teacher and Driver.
Some of the rich kids scoffed at the eggs and refused to take it.
The red dye came off and stained their grubby hands.
Some threw the eggs on the floor.
The Boy cried.
The Grandmother was in tears.
Teacher Victor told me, his eyes welled up.
I cried.
“Now, you know the Worth of Eggs?”
Yes.
What is the Worth of Eggs for a Farmer?
I re a story told and retold on the internet.
An older adult was selling eggs on the street, a rich woman stopped by and
She asked him: “How much are you selling eggs for?”
The old seller replied: $3.00 a dozen, ma’am.’
She told him: ‘I’ll take six eggs for $1.20 or I’ll leave.’
The older man replied,
“Come and take them at the price you want. Maybe, this is a good start because I haven’t been able to sell a single egg today.”
She took the eggs and walked away, feeling she had won.
She got into her elegant car and went to a posh restaurant with her friend.
There, she and her friend ordered brunch and had Eggs Benedict.
They ate a little and left much of what they ordered.
Then she went to pay the bill.
The bill cost her $45.00.
She gave $50.00 and asked the restaurant owner to keep the change.
This incident might have seemed quite reasonable for the owner.
The same eggs the poor egg seller sold for a few cents cost almost $18.00 cooked and served in a fancy restaurant.
I once read somewhere about the Worth of Eggs.
‘My father used to buy simple goods from poor people at high prices, even though he did not need them.
Sometimes he even used to pay extra for them.
I got concerned by this act and asked him why he did so.
Then my father replied, “It is a charity wrapped with dignity, my child.”
What is the Worth of Eggs?
Many go through life showing power to the poor.
They send expensive gifts to the rich to impress them. They give broken things to charity.
That is the price of their generosity.
Is Dignity Lesser than the Worth of Eggs?
I have always wondered why we always try to bargain with hard-working people.
We ask for discounts for a value that is insignificant a few cents or a dollar.
When I was young, my wealthy friend would take me shopping by the wayside, often buying clothes and accessories that were gaudy.
She never wore these.
She will go to the end of the market with the least foot traffic.
There, she will buy a few items and ask for the best price.
She will pay that and give the same amount in tips.
I remember telling her, why don’t you take two sets of the same – since you paid double.
She would just smile and tell me when you realize why – you can say to me.
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